Teenage Dirtbag

Ch 35: Losing Myself

Peyton pov:

For the past couple months I've been putting in a lot of hard work with my band. Concerts came and past, school was back in session, and I was still as fucked up as before. Fallon and I never really talked about winter break again.

We're a little better now, she still sticks with Derek but she'll call me over every now and then. If I'm not her late night booty call we're off getting lost in the city. Our fast and fucked up love has put me in a spiral, nothing seemed to matter besides her and my band.

With my band things have gotten way better. We had bigger and better concerts, way more fans, and we're quickly rocketing to fame. We put out our first album, one I secretly dedicated to Fallon.

'Love is a shitty concept.'

I put my heart Into the album, I would spent hours with the others in the studio trying to get it just right. It was obvious it was a first album but it did well. People loved it and the music videos we put out for it. John seemed really happy with the outcome of it all.

We were invited on some late night shows and some morning shows to promote our songs and album. We were asked personal questions and gave our honest answers even if they didn't want to hear them. Our social media's were blowing up and putting a spotlight on us since december.

It's spring now. We planned a massive tour in summer, traveling across America to show out. I was starting to be happy, my job was well, I had a better relationship with my mom and sister since moving out, and I loved hanging out with my friends.

Yet like all things I was still hung up on Fallon and her charm. When I'm with her I'm sober and enjoying life, I can see the morbid beauty she talks about. When I'm away I'm drugged out of my mind, so high that I nearly overdose.

Not to say I haven't. I've overdosed three times since December. I'd go too hard and end up on the floor foaming out the mouth, thankfully I was usually around Dylan so he helped me. I wanted to stop but I couldn't, I know I'm addicted and I don't really feel bad about it.

"Come on, let's go." Serena pulls on my arm, dragging me to our table in the back.

I went out with her to a club to have fun. None of my friends were here so I was stuck with her and her friends which wasn't too bad. We sat at our table and watched as one of her friends spread out some coke on the table.

I observed the room while she rolled up a hundred dollar bill and snorted it down. She tapped my side to let me go next. Taking the bill I pushed it in my nose and leaned down to take a hit. Snorting any excess and sniffing loudly to get it all in.

I feel the rush hit, my mind and body wired quickly. She seems happy as she immediately squeals and leans over, bringing me into a kiss. Having no qualms about it I give in and kiss her back, running my hands along her body.

She mumbles and whispers about going somewhere to have some fun and I follow her lead. She holds my arm and leads the way to the bathroom. We secluded ourselves in a stall before getting down and dirty.

_________________

"I'm just saying that King Kong should've done like a poop attack on Godzilla. He is a monkey after all." Matt rattled off beside me, a joyful smile on his face. Cam looked disgusted and proud of him at the same time.

"Why am I dating you?" She snorted a laugh. He shrugged and wrapped an arm around her shoulder while pointing a thumb at himself.

"Because I'm in a band." He gave a cocky smile to her and me but we just stared at him confused.