Teenage Dirtbag

Ch 31: Muses

Peyton pov:

The crowd cheered and shouted for us as we finished our last song. They screamed for an encore, begging us to do more. I was high out of my mind, my body and mind feeling like they were on cloud 9.

We bowed to them and left, heading backstage to meet with some of them and take pictures. John was actually here for once, he was happily talking to some business men off in a corner.

"We killed it!" Matt yelled at me, shaking my shoulders out of excitement.

"You guys did great!" TJ told me, hugging me and the others for a show well done. He showed off the footage he caught to the others while I went to decompress.

I didn't get to do so as John had us go meet the fans and talk with them. It took about an hour or so to meet and sign whatever they wanted me to. Some of them I even recognized from parties and school.

I got a few texts from my mom and Serena about coming home or going over but I didn't want to do either of those. I wanted to party and not focus on much. The day after Tj joined us I had gotten into a massive fight with my dad over me coming home.

It was getting to the point where I thought of just getting my own place so he couldn't hurt me. My time away was the longest time I had gone without getting hurt or covered in bruises. I wasn't gonna go back for him to argue and fight me again.

My friends wanted to go do something for celebration but I declined, letting them go off and do as they pleased. I got in my car and left, scrolling through my phone for any active parties around.

Finding one in the rich part of town I quickly drove over, hoping to free my mind of its own torture. I don't know when my mind became a hellscape, but it did. To be honest it's probably the drugs, but those are the only things that make me want to stay alive.

Without the drugs and dopamine I was empty and hollow or in constant anger and suffering. I hated my life, I hated my father, and I hated myself. The drugs made me forget about all of it for a while, only to come crashing down and suffer again.

So I didn't stay sober. I haven't been sober since the night I left. I've been doing everything in my power to not let my self deprecating thoughts come back. When I was sober I thought about everything too much, I thought about Fallon too much.

Nothing was worse than thinking about someone I couldn't have...

Getting out of my car I pull up to the party. I recognized some people and mingled my way towards the alcohol. My high was coming down so drinking was the next step. Grabbing a bottle I make my way to the living room, sitting on the couch and rotting away in front of all these people.

It felt like time was flying by, like nothing here mattered except for the rush and the high. That was until I saw her. She looked just as confused as to why I was here.

"You look like shit." Fallon took the seat beside me, snagging the bottle and taking a large swig.

"Life's cruel, considering I keep running into you." I chuckled, taking the bottle back and enjoying a large drink from it.

"I'm not happy about seeing you either, Peyton." She sat back and watched the people dance and move around in front of us.

"Glad we agree." I turned to look at her and regretted it. She looks good, great even. It might be the drinks and drugs but I thought she was beautiful.