Already Home // Harry Styles

Homecoming

17th June 2022, Holmes Chapel.

Sleep? Sleep is for the weak. That's what I keep telling myself as I lie awake long enough to see the sun rise out of the bedroom window. My phone in hand, my calls and texts to Charlie going unanswered.

We got back to Annes just after midnight last night. The roads were pretty empty. Leaving the city and heading into the motorway, there were stars everywhere. I kept sticking my face right out the window to look at them, much to Harrys annoyance. Have you ever driven on the motorway with a window open? The noise is unbearable, and the man was napping so...fair enough.  But the stars. There was something about them. I loved the night sky.

This house wasn't the house I grew up knowing. Anne had moved since I left Holmes Chapel at the age of 18. This house is bigger. Big enough that I even get to sleep in a room alone. When I was very young, Anne would set up a little camp bed right besides Harrys bed and I would sleep there. As we grew older, my trusty old camp bed went into Gemmas room. Anne didn't quite trust young teenage hormones I guess. Can't blame her.

As a teenager, I thought sharing a room with Gemma was the coolest thing ever. She was only a few years older but at the time she seemed like such a grown up. She had all the trendy clothes and so much makeup, perfumes, hair products. You name it. When she wasn't wanting me out of the room so she could talk to her friends on the phone, she would sit me at her little dressing table and put me in makeup. She was the first person to ever teach me about different makeup products and different ways I could style my long straight boring hair. She was the big sister I always wanted. Don't get mistaken, I have older sisters. We just never really acted like sisters would normally act you know?

The days when my parents would let me stay over at Harrys were always the happiest days of my childhood. I would get a home cooked meal, toys to play with, books read to me and even a kiss goodnight. Those night time routines were some of the most special times in my life. A goodnight hug or a kiss or even just someone simply saying "Good Night" wasn't something that happened in my own house.

When things were really really bad at home, often times I would walk around to Harrys house alone to escape. Can you imagine? A little girl of 5 or 6 walking 6 streets away at nighttime? Often just in a nightgown and pair of shoes on her feet. I can't believe no one ever found me and took me right to a police station thinking I was a runaway.

At the time I thought I was so sneaky and my parents would never know I was gone, but thinking about it as an adult, Anne was always at the front door waiting. I guess my mum would have rang Anne in advance, told her it was my night for punishment from my father and I would probably be on my way there.

Anne would always be stood there, bathed in the hallway light with a glass of milk in hand for me. She was such an angel. It must have been hard for her too. Knowing what was going on, having this little vulnerable girl taking away attention from her own 2 children, more mouths to feed. But not once did she ever make me feel like a burden. I was always treated as part of the family, by her and Desmond, and later on Robin. Just purely good people.

As I got older, I put on more of a brave face. Stayed at home, took the beating and tried to hide it the next day. Eventually, I  got really good at hiding bruises with makeup. I suppose as a teenager I was embarrassed by my home life and wanted to keep it as secretive as possible. Even from those who already knew. Teenagers get embarrassed by everything don't they?

I must have finally drifted off to sleep as the next thing I remember was a knock on the door. Without even waiting for me to reply, Harry swung the door open and let himself right in.

"Generally, when you knock on a door, you are supposed to wait for an invitation to come in" I scoffed, reaching down to retrieve my phone that must of fell to the floor when I finally fell asleep. Still no reply. Was he with Alice right now?