Already Home // Harry Styles

Kissing In Swimming Pools

12th July, Barcelona

Barcelona, Barcelona, what kind of crack do you put in the air? This place has been crazy. In all ways. I don't know what it is about this place but it has made him feral. The show, the outfit, his attitude, holy shit. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

That last night in Germany with that beautiful song still echoing in my head, we finally talked about a future we both wanted. One we wanted together.

"Well, we are too far gone now, got through too much shit to say we are just hanging out and seeing where it goes" I shrugged, stretching my legs out in front of me and leaning back into the bed pillows.  "You are the love of my life H and it's not like our future is going to be straight forward and simple. It's not like with other people, I can't just rely on you being somewhere within the city or available for last minute dates or whatever. So yeah, we should talk about it at least. See if we are on the same page"

"I meant what I said earlier. This could be our life. You could leave your job, we could travel anywhere, do whatever we felt like. That could be our future" he replied, moving from his position and settling back next to me and looking at me with a spark of hope in his bright green eyes. He knew I was never gonna go for that, but always living in hope.

"Nice try babe" I chuckled, leaning across and kissing his cheek lightly. I'm sure people would think that was crazy. Why wouldn't I want that life? It sounds like a fairytale. But then you really start thinking about it. What happens when my savings run out and I want to buy a new pair of shoes or I want to buy a gift for someone? Do I then have to run to my boyfriend and ask for an allowance? No. That's humiliating and dehumanising. I would always be independent and able to look after myself. I felt strongly about that one. "But seriously, the tours almost finished. What's your plan? You are always so vague"

"I'm vague because honestly Ads, I have no idea what the plan is. I've purposely left the future open. The immediate future anyway. In the back of my head I figured we would just spend our time together. Start building a life together, build a home maybe" He said in a quiet voice, placing his hand across my thigh. I watched for a minute, fixated on the size of it. His long slender fingers, piano fingers some would say. Blue tinted veins popping through his skin, contrasted against the deep black of the little tattoos there. How could every inch of him be so perfect it made my heart contract when I concentrated on it too hard?

"A home? Harry are you asking me to be your roommate?" I joked, my nose scrunching as I made a playful face towards him.

"Yeah, I could do with the rent" he played about right back.

"You'd have to do me a good deal to lure me away from Wood Green. I'm not sure even that would lure Stanley away" I chuckled which caused his mouth to spread open, a wide laugh and those dimples playing on his face.

"I hoped we could stick around in Italy for a little while. Take a break, a proper holiday together and then go back to London" he suggested, getting back on topic. A real holiday, with no work in between, nowhere to be, no one to please. It sounded like a dream.

We somehow came to the consensus that Harry would take at least a year off. We'd live a year as a regular old couple. Date nights out, day trips to Brighton or Southend, nights in watching TV and eating takeaway. Become boring even. I'm not sure the prospect of anything else could make me feel happier. Harry looked positively thrilled by the idea. He seemed genuinely excited to be effectively unemployed for the foreseeable. For a while he was rattling off things he had wanted to do. Bike riding, swimming in the middle of London, art pieces he wanted to go see, books he wanted to read, on and on. It was like he hadn't stopped long enough to do any of the things he really enjoyed and now he wanted them all at once.
He even said we could look for a new house if I wanted. Somewhere we could make home together. Renovate it. Even wanting to get stuck in himself with the DIY. That was something I would like to see.