Already Home // Harry Styles

Come Home To Me

20th December, London

"No Harry wait!" I said just before his hand hit the button that opened the door. My voice came out far more urgently than I meant it too, but I didn't want him to leave. It wasn't something I planned but it was instinctive. Without even registering it in my brain for a second, I just knew I didn't want him to leave like this. As much as I try to put on the big independent woman act, I needed him like I needed oxygen. I always had. It was clear.
He stopped in his tracks, turning his head to gaze at me. God, the sadness in his eyes. I never wanted to see him look like that again.

"Can we not do this right now? Can you just be kissing me instead?" I asked, my tone softer this time.

The way his body language changed in an instant was a relief. His shoulders dropped all the tension out of them. The worry lines across his brow released. His eyes, those beautiful eyes finally started to shine again.  He crossed the room and was at my side in a second. He placed himself beside me on the hospital bed, wrapping his arm around my shoulders so gently it was like I was made of glass.
"I love you" he murmured, holding my face in the palm of his hand before he pressed his lips to mine. It was so soft, so gentle and sweet it felt like I was in a dream. He pressed a few kisses to my lips before he moved to press his lips ever so gently to the rest of my face. Across my cheeks, my temples, my forehead, my eyelids. Across the tightness where I'm assuming stitches has closed the cut on my head. Muttering "I love you" between each one.
"I'm never leaving your side again" he whispered, pressing his lips to mine again. "I'm going nowhere".

"You don't have to make me promises Harry" I whispered back, a tiny laugh leaving my mouth before I pressed my lips back to his, using more pressure than he had been.

"It's not a promise, it's just what I want. I love you so much that I don't wanna be away from you ever again. I know what that feels like now, to have had you and then be taken away. I never want to feel that again" he said, so earnestly and so vulnerable that my heart constricted. I didn't know where we stood, but it was obvious he was going to fight his corner. He was going to fight for me, for us. And I knew I was done pushing him away.

"I love you too. But we've got so much to talk about still. The decision to do the movie, New Zealand, the girls, the bars, the drinking, the drugs" I said quietly. I wasn't trying to ruin the moment or make him feel like I didn't want this but these things were important. If he was hooking up over there I needed to know. And I knew he got high from time to time but if this was going to become more of a regular thing then I needed to know that too. None of it was a deal breaker, but we had to be on the same page. No secrets. Everything out in the open. 4 months is a long time for things to change and I had to remind myself every 5 seconds that a baby was included in the mix now. That still felt a bit surreal.

"I know. And I will explain it all. We can talk about anything you want but Addy, the women? It's not what you think. I swear it. They were cast in the movie and Jeff thought it would drum up PR if there was photos out there. He wanted this film to be massive. I hated every minute of it" he sighed, letting go of me to rub his fingertips across his eyes for a minute.

"Of course Jeff would suggest that" I mumbled. He was still determined to get Harry away from me and he jumped at the first opportunity. Was my whole life going to be looking over my shoulder at what Jeff was doing? I let out a sigh as all the possibilities crossed my mind. I could do it, I could deal.

"Harry..." I started, pulling back just a fraction so I could look at him properly. "We're having a baby"

"I haven't even let myself think about that possibility until I knew you would be okay. But yeah, we're having a baby Ads" he whispered, a smile crossing his lips and a little tear filling up his eyes.  "If that's what you want" he tacked on to the end.