Already Home // Harry Styles

How Did It End?

3 years later

Anne was the first person I was able to tell about my pregnancy. She reacted exactly as I thought she would. Tears of delight and bewilderment. A reaction just like that I'd read about and watched on TV and knew I would never receive from my biological Mother. She cried and I cried and it was one of the most beautiful moments of my life.
She held me with one arm around my shoulders, the other hand cradling the scan pictures between the two of us as she spoke quietly.

"Addy. My babies are having a baby. I can't believe it. You know, you get to end the cycle your family has been stuck in now. It ends with you. I couldn't be prouder of you and I'm so so thankful for how happy you make my son and the joy you bring to our family. You've always been my daughter and I love you very much"

Words I will never forget for the rest of my life.

Now, some women have a wonderful pregnancy. They feel beautiful and powerful and grounded and at one with Mother Nature. They glow, they get wonderful glossy thick hair and they have an aura around them you can't help but gravitate towards. Me? I was not one of them. I had a terrible pregnancy. I felt sick the entire time. My body became something completely foreign to me. My muscles ached 24/7 and I could never get comfortable. It was tough going. I didn't have an ounce of the glow.

But then one night in that late February, Meg went into labour. She gave birth to a healthy wonderful little boy with me and Taylor right at her side and I knew that every moment of being uncomfortable was worth it. She named him Finn and every single person in Meg's life doted on that little boy. We couldn't get enough of every little gurgle and smile and the way his little fingers would wrap around you and hold on tight. I loved him completely and utterly.
It was one fateful day when Harry and I, along with Meg and baby Finn, were taking a walk along Hampstead Heath that the paparazzi finally got some shots. And before we knew it, my absolutely huge pregnant belly was on every gossip site and social media knowing. I was hoping that we would manage to keep this under wraps for as long as humanly possible but it's something that we managed to keep it quiet for as long as it did. The PR team was annoyed we wouldn't make our own announcement but Harry was calling the shots on that. He'd made it very clear that his family was his business and Jeff was to keep out of it. Lines had been drawn in the sand. Finally.
We'd still never officially told the world we had a family and we were completely fine with that.

When it comes to Harry and I, things didn't magically just slot into place once I left the hospital. I moved back into Megs flat at first and we had many a difficult conversation. About everything that had happened in New Zealand and the run up to it. Everything that had gone so horribly wrong. We needed to be on the same page to get to where we needed to be. We couldn't continue the cycle of holding things back or me feeling inadequate to be with him. We would never survive if we did.
I'd told him straight out where I stood.

"If you mess me about Harry, if you lead me on or lie to me or fuck about in any way, I'm not having it. We can't do that stupid shit anymore, either of us"

And we didn't. We made promises to each other. To keep each other in the loop at all times. Nothing was kept bottled up. No big decisions were made without keeping each other in the know. We made choices together that would affect our life's. We became true and honest partners.
He kept his word during my pregnancy too. There wasn't a day that he wasn't by my side. There was some tense meetings to be had to get him out of that contract on the film but he stuck to his guns and he got out of it. It wasn't easy but Harry wasn't going to miss any part of it. Even after I gave my blessing for him to fulfil his contract and follow through with what he started. He simply refused. He wanted to be at home and be a very attentive partner during those hard months. And he truly was. Anything I needed, he was there. Food cravings? He ran to the shop at any time of the day. Aching body? That man would wake up in the middle of the night to rub my feet or my back. He was there for every single appointment. Every moment I cried and told myself I couldn't do it, he was there. He was perfect. I couldn't fault him one inch during that time.