Already Home // Harry Styles

..Ready For It?

22nd April, London

He did call after he landed, as promised. It was the middle of the night for me but I answered anyway.
"Did you at least call your mum first?" I spoke straight into the phone when I pressed answer.

"I called her just 5 minutes ago. She's very glad she hasn't got to stress about the pair of us anymore" he answered, his voice sounding exhausted.

"For now anyway" I joked, well it was kinda a joke. I had no doubt I would hear from Anne soon enough.
"Where are you?" I asked, hearing some loud chatter in the background.

We had spoken a little when he was waiting to board the flight at Heathrow. He had asked me if I planned on telling people. My friends I figured he meant since I didn't keep up a communication with my family very often. "Why would I?" I had answered, which probably came out a bit harsher than I intended. I told him that there wasn't much to tell yet. We had to get through this month first. Get through the month and see where we were then. I think he took that badly, which I felt bad about. I got it. To anyone else it could sound like I was sceptical we could make it through a month apart. But I had a right to be sceptical didn't I? Only a few weeks ago he was trying to fuck a model! I might want this, which I very much did, but I still had to protect myself. Protect my heart. For the first time in many many years, I had my walls up to Harry Styles.

It was of course understood without even discussing it that Gemma and Anne would know. And by extension Darren and Michal. They had been part of this mess so they deserved to know that we were in a good place. Save any worry.
As far as anyone else, I asked Harry not to divulge yet. Even from his team. We had to figure this out for ourselves before any external opinion entered.
Harry was fiercely private with his life anyway. Never once speaking publicly about his love life. This would be the same I figured. We would try to keep it under wraps for as long as we possibly could.
I knew I would tell Taylor soon enough. She would be absolutely pissed I hadn't confided in her earlier but I hoped she would understand. It wasn't that I didn't trust her, or want her to know.
She was really the only person I wanted to confide in. My other friends I could tell in passing eventually, but Taylor, I wanted her to be a part of this with me. Be my support system. God knows I would need one.
Harry loved Taylor. I think she had spoken to Harry more than me the past few weeks! The fact they had gotten to know each other so well over the past year really made me happy. In daydreaming sessions I had imagined us all going on double dates and I had to admit I enjoyed that thought a lot.

"Just in the car on the way back to the hotel. Both Tom and Phil decided to pick me up. Thought I might do a runner again" Harry chuckled. Even though he sounded tired, there was still some joy in his tone.

"Thanks Addison!" I heard Tom yell from the back ground which made me laughed. I'm sure they were all relieved that things would be back on track now.

"Tell him and Phil I said to keep you on the straight and narrow. Go home and get some rest. I'm going back to sleep. I'll talk to you soon" I said before a yawn took over.

"Sweet dreams little bear. Thank you for today, and for everyday" he answered before I said Good Night.  Falling to sleep with a smile on my face for the first time in what felt like forever.

The rest of that first week passed by slowly. It was bland. I worked everyday and I worked hard.
My boss Keith was pushing for me to apply for the open position of Public Relations Officer. I was good at my job as a Public Relations Assistant. I worked really well with the PR officers. I had fostered really good relationships with the clients and the media. I was good at it, it came naturally to me. But stepping up, having my own clients, all that research, implementing my own PR strategy's. It was a big decision. A lot more responsibility, a lot more time spent monitoring various media outlets. Did I really want that? Did I want to spend that much time on social media? Especially now? I just didn't know.
I loved the job I had right now. The people were great, I fitted in well, the job was interesting but it was a job I had just fell into after I left my career at the hospital. It was a big decision, a big step. One that deserved real thought.
That Friday I joined the team for the common end of week drinks. I figured I could chat to some of the girls, get the real story of how their work/life balance was. It shouldn't have been the deciding factor, but I would be lying if I said it wasn't playing on my mind that more responsibilities meant more time spent at the office. More time spent at the office would mean less time I could spend with Harry in the future. It was like a catch 20/20.
It was a bizarre feeling for me and I think that's why I was really struggling. Before, I had been so career driven. When I was a nurse, I worked so hard to be an expert in my specialty. Working my way up the ladder quickly. Now, I was thinking of life as a whole. Not just the career. Either way it went, I knew I would continue to be fiercely independent. I had been forced into being independent as a child and it was something I would never be able to shake. Nor did I want to.
A lot of people hear that and think, oh she's not ready to share her life. But that's simply not true, you can be independent and still be in a happy committed relationship. I had done it before. To me, it just meant that I was capable and willing to look after myself. It meant I could share my life but still be my own person 100%.