Already Home // Harry Styles

1 step forward, 3 steps back

18th June, London

"We should talk" he said quietly.

I sat up and rubbed my eyes as light from the doorway invaded the dark room. I shifted myself fully onto my side of the bed, the right side. As I moved it startled Stanley who meowed loudly before jumping down to the floor.

"Don't worry, I didn't forget you little bud" Harry cooed to him, picking him up off the floor one handedly. He crossed the room quickly, handing me the tray of smoothies before pulling out a packet of cat treats from his hoody pocket. He popped a few out and hand fed my cat them before ruffling his head lightly. He moved quietly to the window and cracked open the blinds just slightly, so we weren't in complete darkness.

I pulled back the blanket on the opposite side of the bed, an invitation. Harry set Stanley gently back down on the floor before kicking off his shoes and climbing in next to me. I handed him one of the smoothies before setting my own down on the bedside table.

"That show really was something incredible H. I was so proud of you" I said, shifting myself to lean again his body. "It was electric" I added as he wrapped his arm around me, hand settling on my waist.

"Thank you. Thank you for always being there" he said quietly, squeezing my side once and placing a kiss on top of my head.

We sat in silence just leaning on one another for a while. I wrapped my own arm across my abdomen and held his hand. Our breathing became synchronous and the air in the room felt thick with unsaid words.
I let out a deep sigh, disturbing the quiet as Harry started shifting around.

"Baby, we really need to talk about it" he said, pulling his shoulder back so he could look over to me.

"I don't wanna fight with you anymore" I sighed out, resting my head against his arm and leaving my eyes cast downwards. It was inevitable this wouldn't end in sunshine and rainbows and we were just getting to a great place. It was wild to think just yesterday afternoon I was wandering around Wembley so positive, so happy and then out of the complete blue I was sent into a spiral. Why was there always an obstacle whenever things were good? Was it a sign from the universe?

"Oh honey" he sighed too, using his free hand to raise my chin and kissed me lightly on the forehead. "I don't wanna fight. I'm not here to argue at all. I just want to be so open with you and let you know exactly what happened. I don't want you to be in the dark with anything about me and I wanna know everything that's going on with you. Ok?" He said, pressing his lips to my skin again.

"Ok" I agreed, shifting myself to a full sitting position, adjusting to face him slightly. "Let's do it" I nodded, taking a moment to reach and grab the smoothie quickly from the nightstand. Fruity today, full of pineapple and guava and papaya. Sweet and tangy.

"I felt so awful that you felt like you had to leave so quick like that. I want you to know that she left right after you did and I tried to come after you but I got caught up by so many people and then you were out on the floor. I'm sorry" he said, mirroring my movements and shifting his upper body to face me. He rested his hand on my knee lightly as my hands still clasped the plastic cup.

"Rewind back a bit. How was she there in the first place? You said you didn't know she was coming right?" I asked, for confirmation.

"No, I had absolutely no idea. Of course if I did know I would have told you. Please don't doubt that." He said quickly, a little worry line spreading across his forehead.

"I don't" I assured him.

"Jeff text me, asking me if I was decent because he was on his way up to the dressing room with someone. Honest to god, I thought it was you. I don't know, it didn't even cross my mind that he would bring anyone else so close to a big show. I figured you both knew I was nervous leading up to it so he was bringing you along for a quick pep talk you know? Chill me out a bit".