Already Home // Harry Styles

Into Your Room

8th June, London

Going our separate ways from Scotland turned into the best accidental strategic move we'd made thus far. The pictures blew up around the world. Ofcourse they did, every candid picture of Harry did. And then they started analysing them against the pictures of Harry kissing a girl in Tokyo. That part was super fun for me to see! Side by side comparisons, lengthy discussions of Harry's body language and who he seemed to be more into. The fact that I had just this week deleted most social media from my phone seemed to have been fate. I didn't see much of what was being said, just heard it all second hand from some friends.

There were some photographers at Inverness airport when we arrived there that Wednesday evening. My only guess is they had been waiting around there, sure that Harry would leave from that airport. It was a pretty safe bet. It was the closest airspace from where we had been spotted.
Those photos went onto social media of course, but there was nothing salacious. Just two people walking near each other in a crowded airport. Not much else for people to say.
Me being missing from his shows over the next week left people wondering if it was just another Emily situation. Another one day thing. There were lots of speculation about why I wasn't in France or Amsterdam after I had been at all the shows for the past few weeks.

The day the photos from the Highlands came out, there was a long conference call with Jeff and some woman from the PR team. Now, maybe I'm a bit naive but I had no idea they spoke about things like this in the detail they did. They wanted to know if we planned on being public, if we wanted a statement put out, if we planned on spending time together out in the world. They wanted to know our history, wanted a future plan, they wanted to know if there were any skeletons in my closet that would be brought out, they wanted to know what kind of woman I was. It was wild. I don't know what I thought prior. I guess I just figured that they didn't really get too involved in Harry's personal life and he just did whatever he wanted in that regard. I guessed wrong. Jeff had never asked me anything like this before. I guess when I was just a friend, just on the periphery of Harry's life, it didn't matter too much.
They even suggested I have some PR training incase anyone asked me any questions.
Harry quickly shut that down. I'd been dealing with it for my whole adult life, I knew what to say and what not to say. The emphasis they were putting on me though, the scrutiny they were saying was coming, it was almost enough to have me running scared. Almost. It was getting very real very quickly.

Harry had been really good. Every morning I woke up to a voice note.

'Good morning sunshine'

I don't know how he did it every day. He was a late sleeper. Every morning he got up early enough to make sure his was the first voice I heard. It was very very sweet. He checked in on me constantly, making sure I wasn't spiralling or freaking out but honestly he didn't have to. I was a little uncomfortable with the attention of course, but I was okay with it all. Right now, it was worth it. I loved him. Things were going well, my little wobble aside. This wasn't going to make me run but understandably, Harry was still worried I would. I hadn't exactly been the most reassuring partner lately had I?

Back in London I had started moving into Megs place. Last minute, we had decided together that a full makeover of the place was needed for this fresh start. Nothing dramatic. Just a spruce up with some paint and some determination. We'd already painted the kitchen a lovely sage green which contrasted great amongst the white cabinets that were already there. My bedroom was a navy blue, grey and white. The small bathroom we would share was changed to an emerald green and white. The living room was the last to be done. The girls were coming over today for a pizza and painting party. Today was also the last day I woke up in Harry's house. The bedroom paint had dried, my bed moved in. It was time, I couldn't put it off anymore. I moved the last of my stuff out and as I closed the door, a wave of sadness washed over me. I don't know why, it wasn't like I was never going to go back there. I think it just felt like the end of our little personal bubble we had. It was well and truly popped.