Someone To Stay [bxb]

Chapter 16

                 
Nathaniel

These days, I have been thinking about the first time I ever saw Lucas . At first, I didn't care much about him . He didn't mean anything to me . He was like any other boy I met at every part, any other boy I have used and left behind .

He was my past then the following day after that night we had sex , I realised how impossible it was going to be for him to be my past, nevertheless I was willing to push him away . While I thought I was succeeding, he got pregnant . It's like every single time I try to push him out of my life, the universe keeps pushing him in . And the reason I kept pushing and pushing was because I knew that once I allowed myself to like him, things would turn out this way .

As I sit here, in my bedroom . Thinking about how Lucas acts around me.  He looks miserable, he has now started doing the pushing and this time, it's pretty obvious and he's aware .

I understand where he's coming from, I do . How can he give himself up to me? To someone who's unsure of him . He's not willing to put labels on anything . Yes, I admit that I want all the relationship benefits without having to be tied to him . It's easier that way . And that way, I will be able to run when it gets hard, when he starts falling out of love with me and starts realising how messed up I am . How I'm such an impossible person to love .

Josh walks in my bedroom ." Hey, you got plans later on?" It is already past 7PM. I just wanna sleep early .

" No, why?" I ask, going through my emails on my laptop. It seems like Lucas has used a huge amount of money to pay someone but I can't figure out who . I frown over the transaction .

He doesn't know that I can literally see whatever he does with his money . I decided to do this so I could see what he spends his money on, and if I need James to increase his monthly allowance or not.

" We are going to Tryon's party tonight . Everybody is gonna be there!" Josh takes a seat on top of my bed , trying to peek at my laptop's screen but I slam it shut before he could see anything .

" What do you mean everybody?" I turn to him . And for the first time, I notice that he's already dressed up for the party and he has on a new cologne . I don't comment on that, instead I raise my brows in anticipation. 

" Everybody, Amari, her boyfriend , Wylder and his little brother and duh me!" I'm about to turn away when he says " And Lucas too, dang almost forgot about that" he facepalms .

" But he's like 5 months pregnant, going to 6 ." I state . What is Lucas trying to prove by doing this? He knows that he's on bed rest . He's not supposed to be going to crowded places .

" Well, Summer kinda coaxed him to come . It's kinda like a setup " Josh whispers like someone might hear him .

" A setup?" I scrunch up my nose . I don't like the sound of that . " What is she planning?"

" She's trying to hook him up with someone . And I honestly don't blame her, he's been down lately . Maybe this will help ."

" Does the guy know that Lucas is pregnant?" I glare at Josh . He just shrugs and jumps off my bed .

Perfect, just fucking perfect . Now I need to go there, God knows what the guy might do if he finds out about Lucas being pregnant . Some people don't like different . Different means weird . And that might result in Lucas being called 'A freak' for being pregnant while he's a guy. I don't want that for Lucas . I have been called all kinds of names throughout my life for being who I am . It hurts .

" Wait , I'm coming!" I gesture for him to give me a minute to freshen up . He just nods, takes a seat back on my bed and types away on his cellphone .