Someone To Stay [bxb]

Chapter 36

Lucas

Have you ever been so scared of falling in love again? So afraid that you rather be in denial than accept that you kind of love someone. That's how I have been feeling lately, so afraid . Nathan has shown me nothing but signs that he's willing to give our relationship a shot, while on the other side, I have been taking a few steps backwards .

When you grow up in a household where love never really paid a big role . You start to have this feeling that if your mother never loved,who would? I have read so much about how mother's are the first people to love us the minute we are born . But mine didn't, mine was either there or not there . There was no love, nothing. Just cold cold arms that held you because they wanted you to shut up . With Nathan, I'm scared that I might fool myself into falling for him, only to find out that he doesn't give a shit about me. How can you love someone who has never been loved by anyone? .

Josh, Tyron and I decided to have a night in, watching movies right after Tobias went to sleep . Summer didn't want to come, because, of well, Tyron . And other stuff that has to do with Cam and her . As for Nathan, he went out with Wylder for a few drinks . Promising that he won't get too drunk .

" Guys!" Joshua whines the minute the movie comes to an end . Tyron and I exchange a look before gaping at him.

" What is it? Finally over Wylder?" Tyron asks out of curiosity . To be fair, Josh hasn't told us anything about his talk with Wylder the other night . He only said that Wylder is an asshole .

" I wish!" He groans . Hugging the pillow in his arms tightly " It's so hard . Sometimes I find myself thinking about what I could have done differently to avoid the breakup, you know? Makes me feel kind of pathetic ."

" Honestly, it doesn't . " Tyron is quick to comfort him . " It happens to the best of us . "

" I agree with Tyron . You will eventually get over him, for now, just allow yourself to mourn over the loss of something you badly wanted to work out ." I offer . Shoving a small handful of popcorn in my mouth .

" I hope so ." He whispers " What about you? Hasn't Axel given you any trouble yet?"

" Axel?" I furrow my forehead . " Who's that?"

" Axel, Nathan's ex high school sweetheart . The couple we thought was the end game until someone cheated ." Josh rolls his eyes at my confused face .

" Oh Joshua, we both know why they couldn't be endgame!" Tyron adds . The two exchange knowing looks . I'm just looking between the two, curiosity getting the best out of me .

" Well, spill the beans!" I say impatiently . It seems like Nathan won't tell me any time soon. Might as well ask the experts of gossip.

" Well, Nathan was the best thing that has ever happened to Axel, if you ask me . Then Axel started playing him so hard, even cheating on him and Nathan forgiving him over and over again ."'

" This went on for years, right?" Tyron turns to Joshua for confirmation . He gives him a slight nod . " Until Nathan had enough and broke up with him . But you know, loving someone more than yourself is the most dangerous thing ever, especially the wrong person. "

" Oh yes, it is ." Josh chimes in, staring at the floor with a distant look " The problem with Nathan is that, once he starts loving you . It's hard for him to stop . Perhaps that's why he kept breaking his neck for Axel, running back to him whenever Axel called him . Axel literally ruined every good relationship in Nathan's life, it's like the guy didn't want to see Nathan happy . Now that he's back ...I don't know ."

" If I were you Lucas, I would watch out if you don't want to raise a child alone . Axel is a bitch , and him coming from a rich family doesn't help . " Tyron says besides me .

I shift uncomfortably under the covers over my lower part. " Is he that bad?" I utter. Feeling rather frightened of Axel even though I haven't officially met the guy .

" We don't mean to scare you . Just warning you to prepare for the worst if he decides to come for you . " Joshua mutters .

" I mean, if anything changes, you know I got you, right? You can always come live with me ." Tyron places his hand on top of mine. I don't know why but the weight of his hand brings discomfort at the tip of my stomach .

" I doubt that Nathan will ever let that happen . He loves you, and I know that he will fight for you Lucas . Even if it means cutting Axel off ."

But what difference does that make? I want to say . A part of me knows that Nathan loves me, but is it enough though? Enough to choose me over someone like Axel . They have history together . A good amount of history. What do we have? A child we never planned and a crumbling relationship because of my insecurities .

" Hey, don't dwell too much on that . This is a fight between Axel and Nathan . " Josh sits closely beside me, giving me a side hug" If Nathan knows what's good for him . He will choose to be happy, he will choose you ."

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