Someone To Stay [bxb]

Chapter 33

                    Nathaniel

When Lucas told me what happened, I didn't waste time running to the closest baby store I thought he could be since I forgot to ask him his location. I was scared to death, already planning a way to find Tobias .

" Call me!" Axel called out . I didn't care much about him . I bumped into him on my way out of the bank . It was a surprise to see him . Let's just say, him and I have a very long history I would rather not indulge in at all.

I found Tobias by some ice cream store across the baby's store with Tobias . They were sitting by the chairs outside the store, Tobias enjoying his ice cream while Lucas stared at him with relief written all over his face .

When he finally spotted me . He ran to me, throwing his hands around me . " Finally!" Lucas  hurled himself into my arms, nearly knocking me over given how fast he came at me .

But in that moment I forgot about that, and I clasped him so tightly we were nearly one person. I imagined he was mine again, imagined I could make any hurt or worry go away. Imagined that we didn't almost just lose Tobias. It felt so nice to live in that moment until he pulled away .

" Sorry" He cleared his throat and timidly stepped away, avoiding my searching eyes . Before I could make sense of what just happened, Tobias ran to me, demanding a hug too .

As I'm sitting on my bed, in the dark . I can't stop thinking about that moment. It's like every time I replay it in my mind, it gives me this fondness . Like Lucas and I are finally getting somewhere with our relationship.

A loud ring of my cellphone brings me back to reality. I answer the phone without even checking the caller ID .

" Hey Nathan!" Axel's voice is heard on the side .

" Yeah?" I reply . Feeling like hanging up already . It's bad enough that he's in town, I'm trying to avoid him at all costs .

" Wanna meet up tomorrow and-"

" No."

" What?" He lets out a small nervous laugh " What do you mean 'no'?

" It means I don't want us to meet up or do anything together . "

" But ...we used to do this whenever I was in town ."

" Not anymore Axel ." I state firmly . I can hear him sigh in annoyance on the other side. I don't wait for him to start emotionally blackmailing, I hang up immediately .

Perhaps in the past his little tricks to get me on his bed worked, but now that I know what I want . I can't do anything intimate with him . It might ruin the little progress me and Lucas have made .

I throw my cellphone on my bed, groaning internally . Since that little hug at the mall. Lucas hasn't uttered a word to me . We only acknowledged each other if Tobias was in the room. Everything is so awkward, so hard to ignore the moment we had earlier on .

I try sleeping but nothing comes out of it . I just keep turning and tossing.  I eventually give up by my hundredth attempt at getting myself to switch off my thoughts and just sleep .

A few minutes later, I find myself sitting by the dining table drinking a glass of water . More like taking small sips while admiring some of the pictures of Tobias hanging on the wall, some are with him alone and a few with us three, smiling happily at the camera . I have built a beautiful family, why should I allow Axel to destroy that?

***

                     
                    Lucas

Lately, I have been feeling sick . I don't know why but I have been vomiting a lot, and finding it hard to even eat anything.

I'm currently sitting beside the toilet. The cold feeling of the marble floor and the smell of my vomit makes me wonder if it is what I'm thinking it is .

" There is your glass of water" Joshua places it on the floor beside me .

He moves away from me, then sits by the door watching Tobias play with his trains . He seems oblivious to what's happening, at least for now .

Joshua's eyes catch mine  for a brief moment . It's like he can see right through my pale face .

" Are you pregn-"

" No." I'm quick to say . Joshua just nods , blankly staring into space .

" You know, if you are, I wouldn't judge you or anything." He says after a lengthy pause of listening to Tobias make train noises.

" I'm not . And even if I was, I wouldn't be too afraid of that. " I utter .

" Okay ." He hums . Continuing to stare at whatever is interesting on the floor .

My mind drifts back to the last few weeks that have passed . Could I be pregnant? That would be impossible . Nathan stated clearly that we didn't mess around  . Could he have lied though? But why would he? . At this point, I can only hope that whatever is going on in my body has nothing to do with being pregnant . I'm not exactly ready for another baby .

" Is it me or Wylder has taken a lot of liking for you?" Joshua says out of nowhere.

"  Has he? I haven't noticed . Wylder has always been like that to me ." I answer. Taking a sip of the glass of water .

" You know" Joshua sighs, his eyes darting to my face " When he dumped me, he told me that he was in love with someone else. Of course, I asked him who, but he didn't answer me . Maybe ...I don't know, it was someone close to me ."

" Are you saying that Wylder is in love with me?" I chuckle.  The thought of that somehow makes me laugh . Wylder in love with me? I can't imagine that happening. Not in this lifetime of mine .

" Could be that , have you seen the guy? His whole face always lights up when you enter the room Lucas."

" He's like that with everyone!"

" Not really. I don't think so." Josh's whole face hardens . My smile drops " I thought I could handle it at first but now ..I don't know Lucas . This whole thing sucks, and it's your fault that Wylder dumped me!"

" My fault?" My heart starts sky tracking . " I'm not in love with him Joshua, even if he is, what does it have to do with me?"

" Because...you entertain him . Whenever he's around you act all shy and innocent, like you are asking for it . On top of that, you fucking allow him to stay here nights after nights!"

" He's Nathan's best friend, we can't just kick him out of the house. And you are reading too much into things, I'm not encouraging him to do anything!" I whisper.

His nostrils flares and he glares at me . The hate in his eyes making my whole heart break . "  Are we really going to let Wylder ruin what we have built between us Joshua? Are we going to fight over something this stupid?"

Joshua looks away for a moment, his lower lip trembling a little . " I'm sorry ..I ..I just don't know . "

" It's okay, I understand. This is hard on you, especially Letting go of someone you love deeply, have been there ."

" But this is different Lucas ." His glossy eyes meet mine " Nathan still loves you, he will always do.  I can see it in his eyes . As for Wylder...I don't see it, not anymore. Sometimes I wonder if he ever loved me or was it just lust, you know?".

***