Start Over (Jensoo)

The Singer

Jennie's POV

Lock me up and throw away the key

He knows how to get the best out of me

I'm no fool for the world to see

Trade my whole life just to be

I sighed and stared at the lyrics.

I gently placed my book on the side as I listened to the weird concoction my executive producer, Will, had made for me.

It had some weird bass drops and it sounded more like an auto tune version of my voice than my actual one.

The song finished and he spun around with a smug smile as if he made the best song in the world and I was going to win Song of the Year at the Grammys.

"So, Jen...."

I hate that nickname.

"What do you think?"

I sighed. "What's the name?"

"Love Me Closer."

I nodded. "And the meaning?"

He raised an eyebrow and smirked.

I widened my eyes. "I am NOT, I repeat, NOT going to sing about sex AGAIN."

He rolled his eyes. "All the artists are singing about it these days! Have you heard Watermelon Sugar?!"

I shook my head. "But that's not me. I...I have songs that I think will—"

"No one wants to hear your love songs Jennie. Keep them to yourself. If you want to stay with the record label, you have to sing my songs. Remember: I already tried sharing your songs with Irene. She wants none of it."

I felt disappointment wash over me and I nodded.

I'm 34 years old and I'm still being controlled on what to sing.

I chuckled. It's in the contract I had with them since I was 17.

I had started out singing when I was 17 and I signed with a label for 5 years after sending them a demo tape of a song I wrote.

The accepted me on one condition.

I had to change my image.

The original CEO of Ashton Entertainment, Howard Ashton, wasn't looking for another Taylor Swift to come and write song about Romance, which was what my audition tape had.

They wanted a girl with my voice who could outshine and sing to the world. A girl who was daring and pushed for herself above everyone.

I wasn't like that in real life. I was a people pleaser. I care about what people thought of me. Hence why they convinced me to stay another 5 years and then another....but I did manage to stop them at 3 years this time.

I've been in the industry for 17 years.

And in those 17 years, I only had one song that I released that made me feel like me.

"Solo" came out a few years ago. It was in my song book and producers wanted me to sing it after they asked for ideas, which they never did.

All the other songs: "Come To Me Tonight", "Lose It For Love", "Killing Me Softly"...

The list goes on and on.

On the surface level, they all seem empowering.

But I agree with the feminists when I say that most of my songs are about Sex.

"I think this song could finally earn you it." He said confidently turning back to the music.

I picked up my notebook and clicked the pen.

Top of the world but I'm still not free,

This is a secret that I keep.

••••••••••

"Hi." I smiled as I walked into the office. It was Sheldon's, my manager.

He stood up with a grin and gave me a light hug.

"It's so good to see you Jennie."

I smiled politely. "It's good to see you too Shel."

He was the one that convinced the label to sign me and convinced everyone.

But, he's also the person that blackmailed me to stay. Photos that he shouldn't have gotten, if I had just been more careful.

So we have a...tense....relationship.

That's an understatement.

I have a tense relationship with everyone here since they're all fake.

I sat back in the chair and crossed my leg over my knee. I had worn a long-sleeved, tight sweater and jeans because I wasn't allowed to show skin anymore past the age of 25.

According to my manager that is.

Apparently, I'm not sexy enough to pull it off at the ripe old age of 34.

"What do you want from me, Sheldon?"

He smiled and slid a script across the table.

"I know you've been asking for an acting opportunity for a long time...so here it is."

I smiled and stared at the script blankly. "Here it is..."

Acting had been a childhood dream of mine before I found out that I could sing.

I hadn't given up on it and I spoke vocally about my love for theater and acting.

But they crushed that dream too.

Stating that they had to boost my career and told me to focus on my music, which wasn't even mine, in addition, to not letting me even audition.

I swallowed. "What's the TV show?"

"Pitch Quiet Hospital. Your character is an intern for Jisoo's character, Miranda."

I nodded. "How many weeks am I filming?"

I assumed it was a guest starring role.

"Nope." He smiled wider but it was crooked like it always was. "I booked you a full season arc."

I nodded and gave a smile. It was fake.

"Great. I'm happy."

He frowned and tried to pull the script back. "You don't sound happy."

I slammed my hand on it and pulled it back to me.

I grinned wider. "I'm perfectly happy."

••••••••••

To be continued 😉