Start Over (Jensoo)

Convincing Me

Jisoo's POV

Jennie is kissing me.

I widened my eyes as her lips pressed against mine, her warm hand holding the back of my neck.

I was in shock.

My brain went haywire.

I've kissed Jennie before....on cameras.

But this is the first time that, when no one was around, she's kissed me.

And her lips felt so good.

When she felt that I wasn't reciprocating, she started to pull away but I grabbed her face and brought her back again.

This time I relished the kiss. I put all of my desire into it and felt her hold my wrists. Our lips moved in synchrony and I felt like my whole world just went blank. Like everything just went away because Jennie was kissing me like I was her last drink of water on Earth. It wasn't so much as desperate as it was filled with gratitude and lust. And I kissed her back the same because she did something I didn't have the courage to do.

To act on the desire between us.

The fire that was stoked when we first kissed on set.

It felt like everything.

She pulled away with panting breaths and rested her forehead against mine.

I was still holding her face and my eyes were closed but harsh breaths left my lips.

I heard her swallow and say, "I...Thank you. I don't think....I don't think anyone has ever....has ever said those things to me with so much....emotion. And I...." She rubbed my forearms with her hands.

"It feels so different with you. I feel different. I feel better. I feel so much....happier."

I slowly opened my eyes and pulled away a bit to look at her. I rubbed my thumbs over her cheeks.

She swallowed. "What now?"

Her eyes were brimming with emotion far more than I had seen from any girlfriend or boyfriend. Even my ex-husband had never stared at me like that.

I gently pulled my hands away and they slid out of her hands.

"Jisoo?"

I brought them to my sides and fisted them tightly.

My heart was racing so much because that kiss meant more than anything in my life.

No. Not yet. I can't...again. I can't fall in love again.

I shook my head. "I...I need to go."

She widened her eyes. "Jisoo wait! Don't!"

She tried to grab my hand but I already opened the door.

I ran out and jumped into my car, speeding away with a broken heart.

Because that's how I felt when Jennie wasn't there.

Heartbroken.

And I hate it.

••••••••••

I parked in the back parking lot of a nearby, open pharmacy shop and called Seulgi.

//"Yolo Chu!"

"Where are you right now?" I asked. "I really need someone to talk to."

//"Oh shit! What happened?"

I blew out a breath. "I....I kissed Jennie."

//"....."

"Seulgi?" I asked into the phone and saw a happy couple walk by in front of my car.