Now and Forever |순키| Finished

28

Kei

I was busy looking at my phone reading the message someone sent me. Ilang minuto na rin akong nakatingin dito pero hanggang ngayon hindi ko pa rin ito maintindihan. I was about to type a reply to it pero biglang pumasok ang ate ko sa kwarto dahilan para magulat ako at maitago ko ang cellphone ko.

"Ano ba yan hindi ka ba marunong kumatok?" Iritang tanong ko sakanya. Pumamewang lamang siya habang nakatingin saakin at nakataas ang isang kilay. Hawak hawak niya ang hanger pati na rin ang damit na ihahanger niya.

"Gusto mo ipalo ko sayo 'to? Kanina pa kaya ako katok nang katok napakalakas ng tugtog mo." Sagot niya tska ako inirapan at muling bumalik sa ginagawa niya. I took my phone and typed a reply before hitting send tska ito iniwan sa ibabaw ng lamesa at pinatay.

From Kei:
Tito, wala na po bang ibang solusyon?

"Malapit na pala birthday mo ah? Anong plano mo? Ay! Gusto mo magswimming tayo?" She said. She's right, ilang araw na lamang at birthday ko na. Huling birthday ko na kaya ayokong magiinarte pa at hindi papayag.

"Sige ba! Kung ikaw naman gagastos lahat syempre papayag ako, imbitahan ko pa lahat ng mga kaibigan ko pati kaibigan ni Jaze." I said laughing at her. Inirapan niya lamang ako tska umupo sa kama ko at tumabi saakin. She sighed and looked outside the window.

"Ako ang gagastos lahat, pwedeng manghingi rin ako ng help sa mga gustong magbigay ng help diba? I just want it to be the best birthday you'll ever have. Ewan ko ba, pakiramdam ko kailangang kailangan kong tuparin yun." I could feel my heart aching after what she had said. I thought about my condition, talaga bang hahayaan ko nalang na mamatay ako na hindi sinasabi sakanila ang totoo? Most of my friends knew about it already and my family? My sister and my Lola who was there for me growing up. Ayoko ng magsinungaling pa sakanila at saktan sila, I don't want them to feel betrayed.

I sat there in silence noong dali dali siyang lumabas. Each day passes at nararamdaman ko na ang unti unting pagbagal ng kilos ko, pagbabago sa katawan ko, pati na rin ang paghina ng buong pagkatao ko. I didn't want this to happen, ayoko na dumating sa punto na pati sa paghinga ay mapagod na rin ako.

I wanted to live for them, for everyone, for my family, and for Jaze. He told me that I should look at the present and leave the past behind, it is called past for a reason. But I feel like I am too late, Less than two months and I'll be watching them from above. I don't want to be alone again.

I sat down but I could feel my vision started to get blurry, my head feels like It was spinning and I feel very dizzy. I feel tired already, I feel so weak and fragile. I tried calling for someone pero hindi pa bumubuka ang bibig ko someone held me already. I tried to look at who it was but my vision aren't clear and I could pass out any minute.

"I'm here, mahal ko..." He said before I completely lost my consciousness. That was the last thing I heard before I completely passed out. I'm tired. Everyday feels like this and I am starting to get even more tired.

Suddenly I woke up, and I was at a garden, a beautiful beautiful garden it was filled with different kinds of flowers and even butterflies. I stood up feeling so light and happy, na para bang wala akong dala-dalang sakit, I looked so happy and peaceful here.

I sat on the ground and looked around and noticed someone walking towards my direction, when I realized who it was I smiled and quickly stood up before running to him and giving him a long tight hug.

"Gising na, mahal ko. Nandito na ako." He said before hugging me back and placing a soft and gentle kiss on my forehead. I could feel like I was flying not until I heard different voices echoing.

"Ako na bahala sa foods!"

"Ako nalang kaya sa entrace?"

"Eh paano yung resort? Private nalang tayo kasi mas maganda kung tayo tayo lang diba?"

"Jaze! Gisingin mo na si Kei para makapagusap usap na tayo ng maayos!"

I opened my eyes and realized that it was just a dream, lahat sila ay nakaupo sa sahig ng kwatro ko habang ang lola at boyfriend ko ay nakatabi saakin. Jaze's friends are here, my friends and Jaze's siblings. I looked at them confusedly dahil hindi ko alam kung anong meron matapos ang nangyari kaninang umaga.

"Pinagpaplanuhan na namin birthday mo kasi wala kang balak kumilos." My sister said I sat down and continues to listen to them. I smiled at the sight of them talking around and fighting like there's no tomorrow, lalo na ang Ate ako at Rhyden. Mukhang inis na inis na ang Ate ko sakanya dahil andami niyang sinasabi niya naman siya tutulong.

"Okay na lahat to ah? Finally makaka pagswimming na rin ang tagal na simula nung huli hays." Aeron said. He's right it has been so long since we last went on a family vacation like this. And we're even more bigger dahil kasama na ang mga kaibigan ko at ang boyfriend ko, his friends, and siblings.

Everyone then started talking about other topics, nakikinig lamang ako sakanilang lahat na nagkukwentuhan habang nakasandal and ulo ko sa braso ni Jaze. Everyone looked to happy and contented, they looked so happy and blessed, they look so happy and I never want that look to disappear.

I looked at my sister who was now laughing, hawak hawak niya pa ang tiyan niya habang tumatawa sa mga kalokohang ginagawa ng mga nakapalibot saamin. She looked so happy, she is happy. I could feel my heart aching again. Hindi ko kaya, hindi ko alam kung ano pa ang pwede kong gawin. I don't want them to lose those pretty smiles dahil lang saakin. They're too precious for it. Natatakot na ako.