Burns

17.

Brecley appeared by my side in a matter of seconds, her hands raising to hold onto my arm. She placed the back of her palm against my neck, "you seem warm." Why wouldn't I be? I've been dousing cold water against my face. "How do you feel?" She asked.

I stared at the mirror, grimacing at my pale appearance and sniffled, "like shit."

I was sincerely regretting drinking anything because I felt awful. My stomach was twisting and bile rose in the abyss of my stomach. I took a side look and found Brec staring at me with her bottom lip pulled in. I diverted my gaze and leaned my face towards the faucet to rinse myself out. I rinsed my mouth and grabbed a paper towelette to dab my face and wipe my hands. I turned, sneaking a look at Brecley. 

 Getting a closer look at her in a secluded space, I finally got to pay attention to her face. Her rosy cheeks and button nose, long lashes framing her pretty baby-blue eyes which were full of life and bored into my soul, her plump cupid lips were looking so inviting. Her eyeliner made her eyes pop, adding to its seductive glow. Her bun no longer existed, rather her hair fell over her shoulders in a messy ponytail. 

I looked away instantly, not liking one bit, how her presence was beginning to affect me. I knew she wanted us to be friends but one look at her, especially her lips and the reminder of how good she tasted wasted no time in teasing me. I wondered if she'd still taste the same. I mentally punched myself for that thought. I probably felt that way because she was my first kiss. Fuck! I didn't want to admit it but I knew in my subconscious that I came here mostly because of her. I wanted to see her. 

I moved away from her hold like she was lava and she had just burned my skin. She looked a little taken aback by my harsh actions.  I didn't want to be close to her. I didn't understand why my body was acting funny around her; fuck my body, I was feeling weird around her generally. And I disliked it. We stood in silence, the air thick with tension. There was unease settled heavily in the air. I took it as my cue to leave. I wanted to get out of here and drive home. The whole thing was messing with me. I had to leave and made to leave,

"This is about that kiss, isn't it?"

I froze, unable to move. I wasn't comfortable at all with having the conversation she was bringing to the surface. It might make me a coward but I'd rather be a coward than face a storm of emotions that I did not understand and wasn't ready to understand. The sick feeling in my stomach was being fazed away by emotional turmoil. 

"I didn't… I thought… I shouldn't… maybe we could… I'm… fuck!" The words were bailing on her. I didn't want to turn back and see the look of pure emotions on her face, it would shatter me completely and plunge me into another hurricane of guilt. She sniffled, "will you at least look at me?"

I nearly succumbed to her request but I stubbornly planted my feet on the floor, clenching and unclenching my fists. I stared at the door, feeling emotions swim in my eyes. I was used to fighting my emotions but ever since she came into my life, all my training slowly began to fade. This night was just the worst. 

"Kylo… look at me." Her voice was barely a whisper. 

My heart squeezed and my blood flow increased painfully. If this continued then I might be needing a doctor. I rose my head to stare at the ceiling then shut my eyes and swallowed, taking breaths to calm myself. 

"We can still be friends. I mean we were having a nice time earlier this evening. It can still…" 

Bullshit! 

I clenched my fists before slowly saying, "we can't be friends Brecley." I wish she understood what I meant rather than reading a hurtful meaning to it.