Here's A Secret... My Life Sucks

Chapter 1

On the drive to school, I put my earbuds in blocking out the sound of despair and agony around me. I looked out my window, and thought the world was so small through the darkness that I endured. Watching as the scenery changed every few seconds.

Not that I had much of a choice but, school was the only place I could get away from my fake and dramatic family. Unfortunately, it was my senior year and then I would be done. But at school is where things usually got worse.

I walked down the hallway alone, just like every morning, straight to my locker. I got to homeroom, where my day got brighter, like a ray of sun just hit my heart. I saw him, just sitting there talking and hanging with his friends. But like always, the popular kid never liked a girl like me. I sat in the back, but when I looked up, I had a remarkable view of Daniel's smile. Of course, he liked the most popular girl in school, which just so happened to be my sister.

The one and only.

Some of the hottest guys talk to me just to get to her. I got to fourth period, just in time to realize that Amanda was absent due to her having a "fever", when everyone knew she was probably skipping to do drugs and drink until she was so hungover that she would think she was in the clouds.

Amanda is yet another person I sincerely despise other than my sister because she kissed my first boyfriend just despite me. But I guess she hasn't got over the fact that I didn't really care. Other than my sister, it was like the universe was somewhat on my side today.

At the end of the day, I was just so ready to collapse on my bed and drown in my sorrows, no pun intended. My mind was filled with what I liked to call, "My personal hellhounds." I wanted to just stay in bed in darkness while my family pretends that I don't exist.

After a long and dreadful day at school I returned to the hell I came home and I slammed my bedroom door shut and leaned my back against the door and put my knees up to my chest resting my face on them. I looked up and one of my books was lying on the floor like someone had been there. My mind immediately set on Skye, knowing she was in my room. I caught the scent of Skye's vigorous perfume.

I didn't feel like yelling at her, I was just too tired and caught up in my own self-loathing, so I let it slide just this once. I stood with wobbly legs and started walking over to my bed and forced my body to just drop itself on the memory foam bed.

My parents had got home from work around the same time and my mom called from the first floor of a two-story house,

"Elizabeth?! Can you come down here please?" She asked, waiting impatiently for a response.

I got up from my cozy bed and groaned as I yanked my door open with my eyes halfway open. I walked down the stairs, uneasy and not caring if I fell or not.

I faced my mother and father not knowing what to expect but I also had a feeling of what this unexpected conversation was going to be about. Once I peeked through my blurred vision both of my parents sitting hand in hand at the dining room table. I was suddenly wide awake, hoping they weren't going to give me the "don't kill yourself" lecture.

"Mom? Dad? Before you say anything-" I came forward as my eyes watered.

"Sit down honey." My mom interrupted while patting at the chair next to her gesturing for me to sit down.

"What's going on?" I sounded concerned but I already knew what was about to go down here.

"We have to talk about what happened this morning." Dad rushed into the conversation. I stood up from the chair pushing it back,

"No. I am not going to-." I was interrupted, again.

"We are going to talk. So, sit down NOW!" My body stiffened; my mother frightened me for a second. I sat obediently afraid of what would happen if I didn't.

"Fine. What do you want to know?" I asked, still shaking from a second ago but ready to be open.

"Well, first off. Why did you do it?" My dad asked rubbing circles around my mom's back calming her down.

"That's the thing. I was hoping you wouldn't come in. You guys don't pay any attention to me anyway. You are either focused on work, on your phones, or spending all of your free time with your favorite child." I said mocking Skye's attitude.

"Sweetheart. We don't do that." My mom said hiding the fact that she was about to cry.

"Really?!? When was the last time we had a real conversation other than right now? When was the last time you remembered my existence?" I asked, suddenly enraged and not afraid anymore.

They were hesitant, thinking about the questions I had just put down on them.

"You know what? Forget it." I said, throwing up my hands in surrender. I got up and walked away just to see Skye smirking at me with a devilish look in her eyes.

"What? You have something to say? Skye?" I asked, more demanding.

"No, just listening to the beat down of a lifetime." She said and went back to her room. I rolled my eyes so far back behind my head that I think I saw my brain.

I got upstairs and started to cry in my pillow. My parents thought I was a fragile, a broken toy that needed fixed now.

I hate this feeling, the feeling where I feel like there was no humanity in anyone. I don't want to feel so empty that I intentionally want to kill myself but, people that surround me force me to do so, mostly the voices in my head. When I started crying, I thought of the cute boy in my algebra class, with that huge smile across his face and his gentle eyes. A smile started to form on my lips as I wiped my tears and casually fell asleep. Hoping I would dream of a better life than the miserable one I am living right now.