Something in the Orange

Chapter Seven

"I'm struggling to exist with you and without you"
Bishop's Knife Trick - Fall Out Boy

Vee found herself waiting, her heart on edge, her previous anticipation of the moment when the thin ice beneath them would shatter, plunging them into an icy abyss, finally coming to fruition.

Somehow what Nestor did was worse than what she had imagined. In her youth, optimism flowed through her veins, but age and experience transformed that optimism into pessimism- and anxiety that had permeated her soul, as if altering her very DNA.

Three days had passed since their fight, which paved the way for an unsettling silence.

The absence gnawed at Vee, cracking her chest and constricting her ribs, every breath she took becoming a painful reminder. Rejection had always been difficult for her to bear, so she had learned to shield herself from situations that might lead to it. She never allowed anyone in, never permitted anyone to come close enough to leave. For Vee, being alone was preferable to loneliness

And while rage flowed through her body the ache in her chest grew with each passing moment. It was like the invasive vines of poison ivy, leaving a trail of destruction in their wake.

In the weeks since her return to Santo Padre, Nestor had managed to insinuate himself back into her heart. Lingering remnants of their friendship offered her comfort, enticing her into a false sense of security. It made her drop her guard and allow this new man to fill her life with his presence.

She struggled to remember her life before Nestor, he had always been there. All of her memories involve him, her knight in shining armor. The first and only man she had ever loved. Her greatest secret and biggest regret.

Being back in Santo Padre Nestor had slowly brought all of her old feelings back to the surface. Nestor couldn't help it, he had been raised to serve, to protect her. It was the small gestures that touched her deeply, like when he brought her coffee or carried her to the couch and tucked her in on those occasions when she fell asleep at their makeshift desk. He seemed to know exactly what she needed without even looking up, sometimes even before she did.

Nestor had always been a man of actions, his deeds speaking louder than his words. Those actions made her feel safe, even if only for a fleeting moment. But somehow, his betrayal didn't factor into those actions, her mind whirling with each possible scenario that led them here.

As the three days bled together, Vee realized how much she missed Nestor. The thought alone sent icy water coursing through her veins, it had taken her two long years to learn to live without him, and she wasn't ready for that heartache again.

Her anger at his actions bled into the ache of missing him. Confused and alone she had no idea how to fix this.

***

A continuous tapping noise starts to pull her from her dream, rolling over, she shoves her head under the pillows trying to drown it out.

"Valentina, you have 30 seconds to open this door before I break it down," Nestor's voice sings through her door.

"Fuck off" she mutters into her matteress, fumbling to pull the comforter over her head for good measure.

The tapping turns into mismatched knocking a moment later. Pushing herself out of her bed and ripping the door open.

"What do you want?" she grinds out fixing him with her deadliest stare.

The previous notion of missing him was replaced with rage.