Something in the Orange

Chapter Eighteen

"Nobody prays for the heartless, Nobody gives another penny for the selfish (You're learning how to taste what you kill now)"

Caraphernelia - Pierce The Veil 

And just like that they move back to solitude and silence. Two steps forward one step back. Rinse, repeat.

Every morning Vee wakes, everything moving slowly, her brain, her body, as she moves through her morning and every morning like clockwork the moment she crosses the threshold to her kitchen her phone buzzes, a message from Nestor letting her know he's on his way up.

His eyes never meet hers but cataloging every bump, every bruise, completely unaware that his silence hurts worse than anything Alejandro did to her. Alejandro broke her body, but the way Nestor looked at her broke her soul.

Vee knew keeping Alejandro a secret was eating them alive but the fear of losing Nestor outweighed her guilt. So they sat in silence, Guilt and loneliness seeping in between the cracks of her apartment, filling the air with tension, but Nestor remained silent, Vee wondering if his own guilt was eating him alive too.

So each morning she makes him coffee, he drinks it not quite meeting her eyes, they say nothing. He watched as she took her medication, a dip of the chin as he stood. Finishing his coffee and cleaning the cup, she watches as his long fingers gently dry the mug, placing it beside the coffee machine.

Every morning he pauses at the door, his fingers wrapped around the handle. And every morning she thinks this is it, the moment he says something, anything. But every morning she watches as he turns the handle and slips out the door, like a ghost who was never there, leaving her with the weight of the world.

Rinse and repeat.

Only once she grows comfortable in the solitude do the text messages start. Never the worlds she wishes he would say, he tells her of movements and shipments, profits and loss, he tells her of meetings and the words of little birds.

A constant reminder of the line she chose to cross, a crown she chose to wear. She had spent fifteen years out of this life, but slipping back into her old skin was just like riding a bike. She slid her cartel princess mask on every morning like war paint. Slowly growing stronger, slowly healing.

Vee lets her mind wander, dreams of revenge cloud her vision. She knows she has to be smart about this, taking down Alejandro and keeping Nestor safe were her only options, and Vee refused to fail.

'I guess I am more like my father than I ever thought' Vee thinks to herself as she moves through the silence and embraces the solitude as her mind schemes an escape plan, moving chess pieces across the board. No one said preparing for war was easy.

***

"I brought wine" Blair declares as Vee throws the door open, laughing at her friend. Standing in her doorway holding three bottles of wine and wearing plaid pajama shorts and an oversized Sons of Anarchy t-shirt. Vee smiles at Blair's light voice as it drifts around her like a hug, the first voice she's heard in days.

"You have your own merch?" Vee asks, gesturing to her shirt.

"Oh yeah" Blair says with an eyeroll "MC boys love nothing more than pissing over their property"

Laughing, they filter into Vee's living room, Vee grabbing wine glasses from her kitchen before collapsing on the couch as Blair pops one of the bottles of wine open, filling the waiting glass and handing it to Vee, making herself comfortable. The two women lay top to toe across the couch.