-Stevie-
Standing in the kitchen, hearing that muffled conversation in the dining room, I roll my eyes as I listen to her continue to ramble on and on about stuff no one even cares about... No one, not even her husband.
She's been talking for so long, I could have sworn I was starting to doze off for a second, right at the table... I wouldn't have really minded, but I didn't want mashed potatoes in my hair. So I had to get up and excuse myself before I started to snore.
I just can't handle it- I can't handle her.
I haven't been this annoyed since our divorce, or maybe even before our divorce, which is really saying a lot.
"Mom, are you all good?" Lydia stands in the kitchen doorway, leaning to one side as both her hands stay glued to her round tummy.
"I'm just fine, honey." I give her a smile as I cut into the cherry pie once more. "Go sit down, please. You're making me nervous." I motion to her stomach, genuinely worried that her water might break on my hard wood floors.
"Are you sure you don't need any help?" She asks, those big brown eyes looking back at me.
"I'm coming!" I playfully shout, pulling the plates off the counter to take to everyone else.
As I follow her back into the dining room, I frown at how swollen her poor little ankles are, but I also giggle at how she waddles around. If I didn't know any better, I would assume that she was carrying more than one baby, but I've been to every appointment and I know she just has just one in there.
Thank goodness.
My dining room table is filled with everyone in town for the arrival of our first grandchild.
Lindsey's sitting at one side of the table- the same seat he'd sat every night at six when we were married. Luckily, he's too busy talking to my brother to see my eyes burning into him.
He stills good looking... He's always been good looking, but how much he annoys me off sets that more often than not.
"Do you need help?" Katrina sits next to Lindsey on the other side, a weird smile on her effortlessly ageless skin.
She's 35- just ten years older than Lydia....
Their eight year old son sits right next to her, but he's focused all of his attention on a very enticing game of Go Fish with my nineteen year old son, Luca.
Welcome to the family.
"No, thanks." I smile, handing plates of dessert around the long table for each person.
"Mom, this is very good!" Luca's the first one to take a bite, as usual. "Nice work." He gives me a thumbs up as Matthew peeks at his brothers hand of cards.
"Thank you, sweetie." I give him a faint smile before I slide into my seat, directly across from my ex husband.
"Yes, I agree with Luca." My mother is sitting on my left, and I know she hasn't even eaten any of my pie yet to know that it tastes good.
"So when did you say the baby was due?" Katrina leans forward, taking her glass of red wine in one hand as the other clinks along the edge of my fine China.
"Only five more days, but the doctors think they might have to go in a little early and take the baby out, because this little munchkin still hasn't flipped over."
Lydia let's out a dry laugh as she lets her finger nails softly glide across her bump. "Stubborn already." She adds with a simple shrug.
I raise my eyebrow, wondering why I had never heard that until now. "They can't figure out a way-"
"Mom..." she cuts me off, already knowing I'm getting ready to protest that idea. "The baby just isn't in any sort of position to go natural at this point. It might change within the next couple days, but as of now that's what we have to work with." She's stern with me, probably because she knows that that's the only way I'll truly understand.
"Either way," Lindsey's voice causes me to shift in my seat, eyes darting his way. "Everything will be just fine do amazing either way." That's his famous saying, even when the worlds falling apart. It's annoying. "She's a trooper." He adds, which makes Lydia smile big in return.
I try my hardest not to roll my eyes as I reach for my glass of wine.
"She's strong, just like her mama." Lori remarks, taking my hand in of hers.
"I'm just saying." I shrug, forcefully cutting a sliver of my pie. "I think you should talk to your doctor a little more." I shove my fork in my mouth as Lindsey rolls his eyes at me from across the table.
"We can go outside, toss a football around and maybe the baby flip on its own." Luca pipes in, trying to break the tension between his father and I.
"I think you could be a stand up comedian." Lydia gives him a sarcastic laugh as she smacks him on the arm.
"I've heard it helps." Chris quickly adds, just to keep Luca's wheels turning.
"I had a c- section when I gave birth to Matthew and it wasn't even that bad. In this day and age, they've made it much simpler." Katrina chimes in. "What they did when your mother had you is probably a lot different than what they do now." She continues, which caused a lump to form in my throat. "No worries! You've got this." She gives my daughter a cheeky smile.
Letting my jaw, I look at her with an arched brow, hoping my daughter doesn't listen to that. "My gosh." I grumble under my breath as I roll my eyes.
She acts like I had my children during the dark ages, where they used sticks and rocks to bring kids into the world. Even though my youngest was born almost twenty years ago, they still sterilized the hospital room, even if Katrina thinks otherwise.
"Yeah, and I'm sure the doctors aren't cavemen nowadays, either." I smirk before I take a sip of my wine.
"Well, no." Lindsey chuckles, also cradling his glass in hand. "We rode our horse to the next town to get a real doctor." He adds, giving me a gentle wink.
"I remember that well." I reply, leaning back into my chair to relax.
Even though we didn't ride to the hospital horseback, and a caveman wasn't my doctor, I still remember every detail of our two trips to have children. I remember how nervous we were, how unprepared I was when I had Lydia, but how smooth it went six years later when we welcomed Luca.
It seems like forever ago, even though I feel like our marriage just fell apart in the matter of seconds, and only yesterday....but it was simply the nine months that it took Katrina to have my husbands child and then our twenty year marriage was gone.
I kept my distance for a long time after our divorce was finalized, well I tried. I tried to only speak to him every Tuesday and every other Friday when he would come get the kids. It went well, and divorce seemed simple in those moments, but as soon as we hit the road with the band- the simplicity of divorce was gone.
It is hard. So hard to act like we have some old spark when no amount of lighter fluid could light what we once had.... Very hard. And now, with his big plans to move back to Santa Monica to be closer to our grandchild. Well now I might as well start pulling my hair out, because we are going to be seeing each other a lot... a whole lot and that's never been good.
