-Stevie-
Before I even have the chance to formulate a response, our waitress brings our food out. As she sets the plates on the table, Lindsey and I just look at one another very intently.
Love. He really does love me. And I didn't believe him up until now, but when he puts it like that- it's hard to find any dishonesty.
"Thank you," he gives the waitress a smile before she walks away from the table and then he turns back to me, his perfect blue eyes containing this gray, almost gloomy tint.
For the longest time I wanted to make myself believe that I never really needed this again. I never needed to be in a relationship, or in love ever again, especially with Lindsey.
I wanted to believe that he didn't love me, because he wouldn't have broken my heart if he had, but right now- as I stare at a man who just told me how much he wants us to work out our issues... well, I know that I have to let it go.
I have to move forward and allow my heart to venture in the direction it's been begging, which is right into Lindsey's arms.
"Well," I let out a small sigh, only because I need a moment to think about what I'm supposed to say next.
Maybe I should tell him that I've loved him everyday for the past forty years. Maybe I should tell him that he's given me everything I could have ever asked for, even if our marriage didn't end on the best note.
I could probably tell him that I've never felt such feelings for another man in my whole entire life. But instead of telling him all of that, I come up with a more simple, yet very truthful sentence I could use that will get my point across well.
"I love you, Lindsey." I can feel the tears in my eyes as I reach across the table to take his hand in mine. "I love you with all my heart and I'm so sorry." I whisper, biting my bottom lip as a couple of tears slide down my cheeks.
I am sorry, I'm sorry for everything I said before this moment. I didn't mean to be so harsh, but I couldn't just give my heart away so easily, so willingly, mainly because I was scared I was going to get hurt yet again. It takes a lot to get over an unfaithful spouse, and it's hard to love again, especially when you're falling in love with the unfaithful one.
"No, you have nothing to be sorry for." He has some tears on the brims of his eyes as well, which is just more reassurance on my behalf. "Absolutely nothing, Steph." He repeats, bringing my hand up to his mouth to kiss softly.
"We can make this work." I assure, watching as his lips meet my knuckles a couple more times. "We can be more than co- parents." I add, slowly nodding my head as my eyes never leave his.
I've tried to deny it, and I've tried to fall for someone else, but it always comes back to Lindsey. I can't go on a date with another man, because I continuously think about my ex-husband. I can't look at my granddaughter, who has the sweetest eyes and not think of her grandfather. I can't even lay in my own bed and not stare at his old side, where he laid almost every night for twenty years...
It's always been him and I know it always will be. I can't keep it bottled up anymore either.
"I'm so glad that you think so too." He smiles, squeezing my hand again.
"But it isn't going to be so easy," I know that we won't just fall back into place like they do in the fairy tales.
This is real life, where we have real issues and real heartache. We aren't going to ride off into the sunset, because we have a granddaughter to take care of, a son who needs our help and vows that we have to rebuild from the ground up.
It isn't going to be easy and I hope he can understand why.
"We'll get through it, Stevie." He says softly, which makes my heart melt into a puddle.
~~~
-Lindsey-
It feels like a million pounds was just lifted off my shoulders, because knowing that she wants exactly what I want means the world to me. I honestly, deep down thought she'd tell me that she never wants what we once shared, because it's a thing of the past. I figured she'd think I was crazy, but I'm glad she doesn't.
I probably wouldn't know what to do if she didn't want our relationship to work. I want her in my life so bad, more than ever and I can't handle the thought of not having her.
"I had a really nice evening," Stevie tangles her fingers in mine as we head out the glass doors of the small Italian restaurant.
She's moving quicker than I thought... only six months ago she probably would have cut my fingers off if I tried to hold hands with her...
"So did I," I pull open the car door for her to crawl in, a small smile on her gorgeous face.
She's always been beautiful, but I think time has been great to her. She looks so content in her own skin, even after sixty- which I find to be very attractive.
~
Once we step into the house, we're met by soft giggles coming from the living room. She leads the way, following the laughs as our hands remain tangled together.
"Good evening, ladies." Stevie smiles, thumb running along the top of my hand.
"Hey!" Lori waves, swirling her glass of wine in one hand as the other holds onto the remote.
"Hi," Sharon is half asleep in the chair, wrapped up in a blanket.
"I think it's best if you spent the night here tonight." Stevie chuckles, picking up an empty wine bottle to take into the kitchen.
"Did you have fun?" Karen's voice makes us flinch, being that she's been standing in the dark room all by herself.
Stevie chuckles, nodding her head. "We did." She assures. "Thank you for watching our girl."
"Always." She winks softly.
We get Sharon and Lori settled down with some extra blankets and pillows for their night in the house and then we head up the stairs. She makes a stop by the new nursery, where Lynley has been sleeping for the past couple of weeks.
And then, just like we have done a million nights before, we crawl into bed.
"I love you..."
