-Lindsey-
"What do you wanna watch?" I look over at the baby, who is slowly rocking in this soothing basket thing that is literally a blessing. "Well, we don't do cartoons, baby." I let out a small chuckle, watching her reach out to grab the stuffed animals that dangle down. "Is your grandma mad at me?" I'm over the topic of television shows, because Stevie is really the only thing on my mind.
I don't know what it is with her, but she doesn't believe anything I say. It is a little understandable because I was unfaithful to her, but I don't know what I have to do to make her believe that I do think she's a beautiful woman and I did like that kiss that we shared.
In that moment, it was like nothing had ever happened, and we were exactly who we were before I ruined our marriage.
It was easy, peaceful and I know it was real. I know that those feelings weren't in the heat of the moment, or out of 'pure weakness.' No, to me that kiss was love, even if she doesn't want to believe me when I say it.
Anyway, it's been nearly a week since then and to say the tension is high might be an understatement. It's been pretty awkward around here.
"Lindsey, will you help me set this crib up?" Stevie's voice lingers from the top of the stairs, all the way down to us.
"Sure," I push myself up, bending down to take the baby upstairs with me.
She's leaning against the railing, wearing leggings and a dark blue blouse, while her long hair falls in scrunched up curls. She's always been stunning, but I think she's perfect when she's in her own natural habitat.
"Look at those cheeks," She babbles to Lynley as I hold her up to see how pretty her grandma is. "You are just so darn cute." She follows me down the hallway, playing with Lynley's tiny toes.
"So are you," I know she doesn't want me saying those things, but she is cute and I wish that I was allowed to truly tell her such things.
She doesn't even respond, instead she just lets out a light, nearly forced chuckle.
As soon as we step into the other guest room, I set the baby in her bassinet, where she'll doze off for awhile.... hopefully.
"What do you need me to do?" She stands over me, while I pull out all the pieces to a crib that I've already put together once before.
Lynley has finally been sleeping better at night- not through the night, but she's asleep for longer than 3 hours at time, which has prompted Stevie to put her in her own room.
"I need you to keep me company." I don't need her breaking a nail, or a finger, because I know I'll never hear the end of it.
"Okay," She falls into the white carpet, only a couple feet away from me. "So, have you talked to Luca lately?" She asks after a moment of silence.
"I talked to him the other day, why?" I already know what she's going to say, because it happens quite often.
"He's ignoring my phone calls... again." She lets out a sigh, slightly rolling her eyes because it hurts her.
He does it more often than not, only because he knows his mother well. He knows that she isn't okay, and like most me- he runs when things get tough.
He completely shut her out when I left home and then again when his grandfather died... It's just who he is, but I don't think he realizes how much it hurts his mom.
"I'll talk to him, Steph." I know how upset she gets over it, and right now probably isn't the time for her only child to turn his back on her.
"It just... ya know, it just bothers me." She does that motor boat thing with her lips, which makes me chuckle.
