~~~
-Lindsey-
It's mid-afternoon when we pull into my assigned spot in the condo parking garage and she immediately lets out a sigh.
We talked a little here and there on the way, but it was mainly Stevie voicing her concerns about her relationship with our son. I don't think she really has anything to worry about, just because Luca has always been attached to her and I know that the minute he sees her- he'll be putty in her hands.
"Honey, relax." It's makes me nervous when she gets nervous.
"I am relaxed," she whispers, biting her bottom lip. "Let's go in," she says, pushing open her car door to step onto the concrete.
It takes us a couple of minutes to get Lynley out of her car seat and then we head to the elevator to get up to the floor where my condo is.
She holds the baby on her hip, standing close while I unlock the door.
"Come on, sweetheart." My hand settles on the small of her back, leading her in first.
The house is clean, only because I had to threaten him if he didn't make sure it was at least picked up a little.
But even to my surprise, there is only a couple of his articles of clothing on the floor, but he is no longer smoking in the living room, which is great, because I would really hate to see Stevie's reaction when she realizes that our son is kind of a stoner.
"Dad?" Luca's voice lingers from the kitchen, along with the sound of running water.
"Hey, buddy." Now I'm leading Stevie and the baby into the kitchen, where our son is eating a bowl of cereal.
I set my keys down on the counter, causing him to look up, right into his mothers eyes. I don't know what's going through either of their minds, maybe they are internally cussing each other out. Or maybe their really happy to see one another... I have no clue, but I do hope this goes well.
"Hey, Mom." He actually smiles, which is different.
"Hi, baby." She returns that smile, but her eyes look sad- almost like she's ready to cry.
"How are you doing?" He bites the inside of his cheek, looking back down into his bowl.
"I've been worried about you, but other than that- I've been great." She trails a little closer to the table, sitting down across from him as she bops the baby on her knee.
"I'm sorry about that, mom." He lets out a sigh, "I just have so much going on, and it's kinda crazy." He isn't lying, because the shit he's pulled in the last couple of months has been beyond ridiculous.
I just lean back against the counter, listening. I have nothing to say and I don't want to intervene with their conversation, because whatever happens between them, has to stay between them.
"I want to be a part of it, Luca." Stevie responds, lightly raising an eyebrow. "A baby is a miracle..." she adds, voice incredibly gentle and sympathetic. "And just because you aren't ready, doesn't take away from that." She is the greatest, she really is.
"And I want you here." Her boy is back, and I couldn't be happier.
And in all honesty- I knew it would be that simple, because he loves his mom and his mom loves him, so it all works out.
Before I know it, Stevie is asking all about the little boy that will soon entire our lives as well, and Luca is more than willing to share the excitement of his unborn child.
This is everything to me and though we're missing a very vital piece of our family- I know that this is exactly what Lydia would want. She would want Stevie and I to be happy, and she would want for us to raise her baby together.
~~~~
-Stevie-
Reaching out, I gently turn down the volume on the radio as my eyes travel his way. "Can I ask you something?" I don't want to argue, but I do want to know... I want to know the truth.
He nods lightly, looking over at me for a brief moment before he turns his attention back to the road.
"Why'd you do it?" I have wondered for years and I just need to know. "Why'd you have an affair?" I clarify, biting down on my lower lip as I stare at him closely.
I have held back for as long as I could, but I don't think I can move forward and just never know.
He sighs heavily, shaking his head softly. "It was the worst mistake I've ever made..." he's said that before, but this is the first time I believe him. "We had been fighting that night about..." he pauses for a second, trying to remember. "We were fighting because I had missed one of Lydia's dance recitals for work and you told me I needed to take a step back." He recalls, which causes my heart to sink into the pit of my stomach.
I remember that night, too. He promised me that he'd be home in time to take me and Luca, but by the time I'd gotten ahold of Karen to come pick me up, I was twenty minutes late and had already missed her solo.
I was mad. I was so mad that he didn't even have the decency to call me, so when he finally got home from the studio, I was ready to fight and we did.
We yelled in the kitchen so loud, Lydia called my mom, bawling. And then he left- we walked right out the front door and I didn't see him until morning.
At the time, I thought he'd gone to Mick's... that's where he said he was and I believed him. I didn't have a reason to think otherwise.
"I went to the bar, had more drinks than I had in years and woke up in a studio apartment..." he sounds embarrassed. "I've regretted it every day since." He adds in a weak tone. "I should have stayed home... that's where I belonged."
With tears in my eyes, I reach across the center consul to take his hand in mine. "You still do, baby."
