The Heartless Hybrid Queen

Chapter 36 - Aurora

I stare down at the now lifeless body I'm straddling, a slight sense of satisfaction filling me. I let out a long sigh, "that's better." I barely pay attention to Dr. Maddox's wailing cries as I soak in the feeling of taking the life of one of the men who took mine.

Memories of long, dark nights in the freezing dungeon come back to me, maybe I can finally move forward from the horrors of my time there. Though I guess only time will tell; my nightmares may have lessened since finding Samael, but what if getting revenge and having my mate is not enough to bury the years of built up trauma? What if I never truly get the pieces of myself back... back from the Stallards, back from that dungeon, back from the inn where I was defiled for the first time. What if I stay trapped in all those places, never able to move away from it all, never able to let go...

My breathing hitches as memories flood my mind, destroying the cage that I built for them while I was rotting in the dungeon, and leaving me gasping for air while still straddling the dead judge. His empty eyes look at nothing but mine see everything; my mother's tired face as she hastily packed my bag before abandoning me; the innkeeper grinning down at me as he pinned me to the bed under him; Atwood's face lighting up everytime I came back from a run into town... and Atwood's face drained of all life after the guards murdered him; Gregory removing my bedroom door the day I arrived at his manor; Petra smiling brightly as she shoved my face into her cunt; doctor Maddox telling me he had to remove my uterus so I can never have children; doctor Maddox cold-faced and uncaring as I pleaded with him to help me; and Judge Theordoric sentencing me to life in the dungeons without a second of hesitation...

I remove myself from the judge's body, feeling the urge to scrub myself clean.

I can't breathe.

Doctor Maddox looks at me warily, as if worried I'm having some kind of mental break or something. Maybe I am. Maybe that would explain the unpleasant tingling sensation crawling through me, and the reason my head is spinning, and why I can't breathe.

I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe.

My arms instinctually wrap around my torso as I try to hold myself together but I'm hyperventilating at this point, my body on autopilot as I gasp for the nonexistent air. I turn around to reach for Samael but he's already there, pulling me into him and lifting me into his firm embrace.

"It's okay, Aurora," his voice is soft and comforting but I'm already way past the point of calming down. Sobs rack my body as I let out all of the pain and anguish I've kept buried for so long. I can't even find it in me to feel embarrassed as I wail into Samael's chest.

"It's okay," he says again, stroking my hair and holding me tightly. "I got you baby."

After a few minutes, I begin to calm down, my breathing slows and I can finally inhale the proper amount of oxygen. I work on building that cage around my memories again but Danika's voice interrupts my concentration.

"No, Aurora. You can't hide from it anymore. Getting revenge isn't just about killing them, it's about finally facing everything they've done to you head on and you can't do that if you shy away from the bad stuff. If you don't work through it, you'll never feel better, even after they're all dead."

Tears spill rapidly from my eyes as memories fill my mind, and a whimper slips past my lips. Samael's hold on me tightens and he whispers in my ear, "You don't have to do this if you don't want to, my love." He brushes some of my curls away from my face, "we can leave him here to rot, or I can return him home, it's your decision."

I clear my throat, though my voice still comes out hoarse, "No, I want to do it. I just wasn't expecting it to make me so emotional."

"I was," he says nonchalantly.