Yes! Mr Murphy

PART THREE: THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU

Hours later...

Your POV

"What's wrong?" Emma asked, seeing the look on your face when you walked through the door of your studio apartment which you shared with her.

"I had the worst fucking day" you told her before walking over towards the fridge, opening the freezer and retrieving the bottle of vodka you knew Emma kept hidden there for desperate times.

"That bad huh?" Emma asked as she watched you pour yourself two or maybe three shots of cheap booze into the tallest glass you could find before topping it up with juice.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she then asked and, after taking a big sip from your drink, you nodded and sighed all at the same time.

"The guy I met at Temple Bar is my fucking lecturer" you then blurted out, causing Emma's chin to drop.

"The mid forty year old you slept with?" Emma asked and you nodded again.

"Yes. Cillian. The one I slept with. Fuck" you spat before breaking out in laughter. "Why is this shit happening to me?" you then asked and, even though this question was a rhetorical one, Emma answered you.

"I believe in fate as you know" Emma told you, knowing very well that you had not been able to get this blue-eyed stranger out of your head. You had told Emma about your reoccurring dreams, featuring him, and you told her that, during your one night with Cillian, you had the best sex ever and that you felt some sort of connection to him.

"Fucking fate? Seriously?" you chuckled. "He is 46, still married with kids..." you began to say just before Emma interrupted you.

"Separated" she corrected you but you did not care about technicalities.

"Whatever" you spat. "He is an actor and my fucking lecturer too" you then pointed out while emptying your glass much too quickly.

"Well, one would hope that he can act if he is teaching an acting class, right?" Emma then chuckled but you shook your head.

"No. You don't understand. Here. Look" you told her before bringing up your most recent Google Search on your phone and, just as you did, it happened again. Emma's chin dropped.

"Holy shit. No kidding. He's famous" she blurted out while clicking through the filmography and you simply rolled your eyes.

"I want to skip this class. I really do. I can't do it" you pointed out but Emma shook her head.

"You can do it! You are talented and you worked so hard for this, so you shouldn't just give up now" Emma reminded you and, of course, you knew that she was right.

Acting and dancing were the two things you enjoyed the most and getting a role on stage was your dream. This was what you were working towards and, in order to get there, you had to finish what you have started.

You had important auditions coming up for a theatrical piece combining both, modern theatre and contemporary dance. It was the role that was perfect for you and, whilst you were occasionally performing on stage, it never entailed any acting. It had always been dancing because dancing was what you were comfortable with. Acting, on the other hand, was outside your comfort zone as you were still unable to let go of yourself and immerse yourself in a character.

The lines were easy to learn but pretending to be someone else was not. Allowing yourself to become someone else was what you had to learn. You had to learn that it was okay to appear vulnerable at times but, unlike most actors, you were continuously on guard. It was your protection mechanism and this was what you had to work on in order to get through the auditions.