Rushing through the kitchen, I let out a subtle sigh. "I can't do next Tuesday, dear." Shaking my head softly, I pull open the the fridge door. "I'm meeting with the publisher next Tuesday." I've been talking about this for days, though I know that everything I say goes in one ear and right out the other.
Humming quietly, Joplin's two hands fall on the kitchen counter. "When is your book signing?" She lets off a smile- one that has captured my heart since the moment I held her in my arms twenty- four years ago.
Pausing for a short second, I take in the sound of the front door opening. "Umm, Friday." I nod quickly, pulling the sheet cake out of the fridge as carefully as possible.
Sliding across the room, Joplin helps me usher the cake towards the island. "So exciting, mom." She assures once we have the cake safely on the countertop.
"Mom?" Her voice carries through the foyer as the sound of her heels hitting the hard wood floor fills the air around us. "Hey, there." She appears in the doorway a second a later, a big smile dancing across her face as she trails through the room with gift bags in each hand.
I return her smile, heart fluttering gently as I watch my other sweet girl take a seat at the island. "Hi, beautiful." Reaching across the counter, my hand falls on hers to give it a quick squeeze.
"Hi, buttercup!" Joplin wraps one arm around her neck, kissing the top of her head.
Tossing her head back, Presley lets a loud laugh escape her. "I've missed you." She chuckles, giving her little sister a tight squeeze.
Raising a brow, I smirk softly. "Okay, ladies- let's get this show on the road." I cock my head lightly, silently telling both of my girls to get their things and head for the door. "We can't keep him waiting too long." I can feel my heart start to beat a little faster as I carry the chocolate cake through the house, hoping one of those goofballs gets the gifts on the counter.
~
Heading through the sliding doors, both the girls stay pretty close behind him, chit-chatting about the new color of nail polish Joplin got at her appointment yesterday. But my attention is pulled as soon as we step foot inside the lobby, where all the nurses gathered as usual.
"Good morning, girls." His regular nurse- the one he thinks has the most perfect set of blue eyes greets us immediately.
"Good morning, Ali." We all say it, though it doesn't come out exactly in unison. "How is he doing today?" I fall back on my heels, taking a moment to prepare myself before going down to see him.
"He's been asking about you all morning, Mrs. Richards." She's said that everyday for the last eight months... sometimes I actually believe it and sometimes I think she just wants to please me in some odd way.
"He's quite the charmer, huh?" I let out a gentle laugh, leading the way towards his room.
Smiling lightly, my eyes scan over the artwork hanging on the walls. Last week, a second grade class brought in a ton of drawing- butterflies and sunshine.... something this place needs a little more of. It's always gloomy, but a huge piece of my heart is here, so I come. I'm here everyday at around ten in the morning in hopes I won't confuse him anymore than he already is.
We all slow down once we make it within a couple of feet of his door, probably trying to maintain any undesirable emotions. But with a deep sigh, I push open the heavy wood, another smile tugging at my lips once my gaze drifts towards my husband.
He's laying in bed, head propped up against the pillows as he stares aimlessly around his room. He looks so lost... And in all reality, he is lost.
"Hi, sweetheart." Setting his cake down slowly, I journey further into the room while our girls linger back some. It's better to test the waters before just jumping right in, especially now more than ever with him.
Jerry cracks a grin- one I've seen a million times before. "I've really missed you, Steph." He can't remember that I was here yesterday... he never does.
Sinking into the bed next to him, my hand falls on his chest gently. "I've missed you, babe." I give him a nod, eyes melting into his. "But guess what today is?" I lean in a little more, lips meeting his forehead for a brief moment.
He shrugs lightly, shaking his head out of confusion. "I wish I could tell you." Sometimes, for a split second- I swear that the man I married thirty years ago reappears and life is back to the way it was.
"It's your birthday, daddy." Presley's soft voice catches his attention as they both sneak into his room a little more.
Somedays- not all, but occasionally, it's very hard for Jerry to remember big things in his life... somedays he can't even seem to recall our two girls, which breaks them almost as much as it breaks me. It's been a long couple of months since his strokes, which is why we know better than to move too quickly on our visits as a family.
"Yes, happy birthday, handsome guy." Joplin winks softly, holding up the flowers she spent half an hour picking out this morning.
He reaches out to take Presley's hand in one of his as the other falls on my thigh. "I love you, ladies." He does, I know he does, even though he occasionally forgets.
"We love you." I whisper, tears filling the brims of my eyes as I take in all of his features.
He has the most gentle smile and piercing green orbs- I fell head over heels the moment my eyes met those eyes. And even though he can't always remember the life we created with one another, he still seems to take my breath away each and everyday.
"We brought cake, dad." Presley slides around the bed, pulling open her purse to take out plastic forks and paper plates.
"Sixty has never looked so good." I wink as my index finger traces the curve of his nose slowly.
