Sitting on the patio, listening to the sound of day birds chirping, my hand slides across another empty page of my journal. "Ugh," taking my reading glasses off the end of my nose, I let a deep sigh escape me.
I've spent the last week trying to write, but every time my pen meets the paper, my mind drifts back to the color of his eyes and way his smile gives me little flutters in the pit of my stomach... It's been a long time since I've felt anything quite like that. I talked to him for half an hour, at the most and suddenly, without much thought- I'm captivated.
"Hi, mama." Joplin's scratchy voice meets my ears as she moves down the patio steps, carrying a bottle of wine in one hand and two glasses in the other.
"Hi, beautiful girl." Closing my journal, I shift gently to set it on the small table in between the sunbeds.
"I was hoping you'd still be here." She's wearing a long black sundress with a sun hat resting on her curly, blonde locks.
I give her a warm smile, crossing one leg over the other as I watch her settle into the chair next to me.
We spend every Friday morning together- we have for the last year and a half, which I'm incredibly thankful for. She has a personality that I'm head over heels for, she always has and even as she's gotten older and created her own life, she's still my number one girl.
"We have to celebrate before your book signing!" She giggles softly as the cork from the bottle of red wine shoots half way across the patio.
"I can't celebrate too much." I half whisper, biting down on my lower lip as she passes a glass my way.
Her eyes meet mine as she begins to pour her own, a soft frown dancing across her young, sweet face. "Have you already started this morning?" Her brows shrivel up, one drifting upwards very subtly.
"Just coffee," I shrug, turning back to look at the water filter through the pool. "With my bourbon..." I add quietly, sinking down to sip my wine.
"Mom," she lets out a deep breath and I know that breath- I don't like that breath.
She's going to tell me that I need to release my negative energy in a different way... vodka and lemonade doesn't just cure internal sadness, mom- I can hear it already, though it usually comes from her sister.
"Maybe you need to redirect your time to something else... something that doesn't involve liquor, or writing." Joplin's one of those people who can lecture well, though not in a horrible, boring way. She's wise, yet also not a total buzz kill.... She'll let me finish my wine without insisting on holding an invention- Presley wouldn't.
Nodding lightly, I swirl my glass slowly. "Yeah, like what?" I don't know what else to do besides write and sip. Those are my two hobbies these days.
And the thing is, I don't know what else I'm really good at. I've always been a mother, a wife and a writer- three things I thought would come naturally my entire life... Not quite so much anymore.
I used to sit out on our bedroom balcony for hours after our house quieted down for the evening, everyone fast asleep besides me. And I'd write everything, even little poems that I'd end up singing to our three babies before they'd go to bed each night... They always gave me the most motivation and they still do, even if they don't realize as much.
"Maybe a date?" Her words cause me to spit the wine back into the cup.
"I think you're the one that's had too much goofy juice." I crease a brow, moving away from her slowly.
Tossing her head back, another loud laugh fills the air around us. "I'm being serious." She nods, a smirk still plastered to her face.
"A date?" I take another quick drink, because I obviously haven't had enough, or else I'd be a little more understanding... maybe. "Like with a person?"
