Smiling softly, my eyes stay fixated on her as she steps back out into the morning sun. She's wearing an oversized cream colored sweater- perfect for a slight breeze that's sending her very natural curls fluttering around her... I like her like this, a lot.
She called me yesterday afternoon to ask if I'd like to come over for coffee, which I thought was just totally adorable... cheesy, I know. But there's something about her that has me so captivated.
I think it's a good toss up between those eyes, that personality and even the mysterious vibe that surrounds her. She has secrets- ones I have no business asking, yet I find it really hard not to wonder.
"So?" Setting a plate of blueberry muffins down on the patio table, she slides into her chair across from me. "How was your week?" She asks, fingertips trailing across the edge of the glass table.
I haven't seen her in a couple of days, which has become kind of rare for us lately, but I have to remind myself that we both have so many responsibilities... It's hard to devote so much time to one another when there are other very important people in our lives.
Nodding lightly, "It was good- didn't do much, but..." I pause for a short second. "But I missed you." I admit, trying not to sound too sentimental, but I really want to tell her that.
I don't want to make it sound like I'm pushing and I definitely don't want her to feel like that, not right this moment. We're both still married to other people, so I guess it just doesn't seem right confessing undeniable feelings... even if I want to.
"I missed you too, Lindsey." Her giggle fills the air around us as she rests an elbow on the table, chin falling into her hand.
"What did you do this week?" I can't help but smile at how sweet she is when she laughs.
Letting her tongue hit the roof of her mouth, she thinks for a short second. "My grandchildren spent most of the week with me, since my daughter is in Connecticut on a business trip." Her voice gets a little softer when she talks about her kids... It's very obvious that she's totally in love with all of them.
"I bet that was a lot of fun." I nod lightly, eyes melting right into those sweet brown orbs.
"Oh, it was so much fun." She's being serious- not sarcastic, like one would imagine. "You told me about a new grandchild...?" She lingers, a sweet smile dancing across her gorgeous face.
She doesn't have much makeup on this morning, but I don't think she needs it, not at all. She has this uniqueness about her that is just inevitably stunning, even in this natural morning light.
I let out a chuckle, trying hard not to sigh. "Yeah, my son is getting ready to be a dad." I think it sounds weird- I think being a grandparent is just weird, actually.
"That is so exciting, Lindsey." She bites down on her lower lip, taking a sip of her coffee before continuing. "You'll love it." She winks playfully, slowly swirling her cup.
"Yeah," I shrug gently, not totally certain that I'll love it... maybe grow to accept it, but surely not love it. "Anyway," I don't know why, but I can't talk about this whole baby thing- I think it makes me sad, really. "What fun things are you up to this weekend?" My lips turn up lightly, watching as she pushes some loose strands behind her ear.
"Umm," looking back up, she scrunches her nose a little. "I have a meeting with my editor Sunday morning, but other than that- not much." She shrugs as a gentle grin tugs at the corners of her mouth.
"Well, I was wondering, and it's totally last minute," I pause, "But would you like to go with me tomorrow night to a little music festival in Santa Cruz." I ask, leaning forward a little more to take in all her beauty... I don't think I've ever been so intrigued by a woman. Ever.
She leans in as well, returning my smirk. "I would love that."
~Stevie~
"Do you really think that's the best idea?" Joplin's sitting across the table from her father, eyes wandering from him, to me and then back to him.
"I want to come home." He repeats the same statement for the third time since we got here almost half an hour ago... Scary, I know. "I'm tired of it here." He adds as he brings his trembling hand up to his cup.
Sinking down a little further, I can feel my stomach twist as my face grows incredibly flushed. "Jerry, I can't take care of you by myself." I can't, not even if I really, really wanted to.
Don't get me wrong, I love him and I care about him, but I can't take care of him full time... It's too hard for me. He needs a lot of attention and I don't think I'm at a point in my life where I can completely devote everything to being there for him every second of everyday. And that might sound wrong, really wrong, but I did try.
We spent months trying to figure out how to work around his health problems- I did everything I felt that I could in those months following his stroke.
I just don't think I can do it again... or maybe I don't want to- I really don't know anymore.
"Hire a nurse, Stephanie." He raises a brow, eyes burning into mine with such an uncomfortable depth.
"Dad, you've made so many friends here." Joplin holds up her hands, motioning around the cafeteria, where a crowd of elderly people have spread just like butter. "It'll be kind of lonely at home." She's right... It'll just be him and I, which actually terrifies me.
It's crazy how much has changed since he came to stay at the nursing home. I was scared when he left- I couldn't remember, for the life of me, how to be my own person. We had lived in the same house for thirty years and most of our marriage, we had children to occupy us... I didn't know how to be alone. And now I can't imagine him sharing a bed with me again.
"Where's your wedding ring, Stevie?" He's eyes fall on my hands that are resting comfortably in my lap.
Chewing on my lower lip, I run my index over my bare ring finger, just now realizing I'd completely forgotten to put it back on last night. "I dropped it off this morning at the jeweler," I half shrug, "It didn't sparkle, so I wanted it cleaned." I have to lie... Because I can't possibly tell him that I don't like wearing my wedding ring when I go out on dates with another man.
Nodding his head softly, he gives me half a smirk. "I want to come home."
