~Stevie~
It's early the next morning- the sun just beginning to beam in through the curtains in the living room when I feel his hand run up my back.
"I'm sorry," I whisper as I slowly start to push myself up.
"Wait," he pulls me back down, a soft chuckle escaping him when I snuggle back into his arms. "I'm not ready for this to end." He admits as he leaves the most gentle kiss on the top of my head.
I giggle softly, nodding in agreement. "How is your back not killing you?" I ask, one hand creeping up his chest to his cheek.
We're on my living room rug- curled up with a couple of throw blankets and decorative pillows surrounding us... we couldn't make it any further last night.
"Actually," his index finger makes small circles on my shoulder as he stares down at me, blue orbs melting into my much darker eyes. "That was the best nights sleep I've had in a really long time." He says that and honestly, I believe him, because I feel the same way.
He held me all night long, which is something I have never really been accustomed to... it felt so good to be in Lindsey's arms.
It was safe and easy. I felt like I had no other worry in the world, when of course, I know that's not true.
He made me feel like I was the only woman to exist and I can honestly say, I have never been this in love with anyone... No one.
"You're so sweet." I whisper, eyes falling closed once more.
He chuckles, giving me the softest squeeze. "You're perfect."
~Lindsey~
She falls back to sleep for another hour or so, which gives me enough time to stare up at the living room ceiling, watching the blade of the fan spin in fast circles as my mind races.
When Jenny first got sick, she kept telling me that I needed to find someone to love before she was gone... At first, I didn't understand her way of thinking- I hardly ever did, which was what had me so drawn to her.
Anyway, I didn't think there was anyone else I could love the way I loved her... Until now, of course.
"I'll make breakfast." She has her hand in mine, leading the way into the kitchen in just a silk black robe and long hair pulled into a clip.
Wrapping my free hand around her waist, I can't help but pull her back lightly. "You're so beautiful." I can't count the times I've said that since last night... probably a hundred.
She giggles, leaning back into me to be held. "Oh, stop it." She shakes her head softly, another little laugh filling the air around us when I nibble the curve of her neck. "I love you." She whispers a moment later as she tilts her head to give me more access.
You might think it's too soon to say those words to one another, but I don't. When you feel that way about someone- you feel like their holding the next chapter of your life in the palm of their hand, you want them to be reminded of how important they are.
And she's important to me. She feels like the future.
"I love you." I whisper back, patting her hip lightly.
She keeps my hand in hers, spinning out of my arms and pulling me to the kitchen as she trials backwards. "This feels right..." she announces, brown eyes locked with mine.
I don't think I've ever met anyone with orbs like that... they're so deep and mysterious.
"It does..." I agree, leaning in to give her a quick kiss.
She chuckles, looking at me for a moment before she lets go of my hand. "I need coffee." Stevie gives me a gentle smirk before she begins moving around the room.
And before I know it, I'm flipping pancakes, trying not to burn them as my attention is drawn elsewhere... to her. She's mixing together some banana bread mix, humming to the song on the radio as she occasionally sips from her cup.
"Can I ask you something?" I have been holding off for as long as possible, but I want to know. I'm curious.
She nods, glancing over at me for a moment. "Anything." She assures, using the spatula to pour the mix into the pan.
"If you don't want to talk about it, that's okay-"
"Lindsey," she cuts me off, a little smile on her sweet face. "When I say anything- I mean it. I'm an open book." Her voice is so soft and so warm- I believe her.
I sigh lightly, suddenly sure I shouldn't have even said anything.
If she wants to talk about it, I should have let her be the one to bring it up... I shouldn't pry.
"I'm listening," she adds with another laugh.
~Stevie~
He stares at me for a second, obviously trying to put his curiosity into words. "You said that you have three children..." Lindsey hasn't asked up until now, which is shocking but nice.
I know he's wondered- how could he not? I talk about my kids all the time... Two of them, that is.
Nodding softly, I raise a brow as my mind starts to drift.
It's been a long time since I've had to tell this story... In fact, I can't even remember the last time, because everyone in my life now was there when it happened. They lived through it with me.
"Hendrix was the greatest." I begin, lips turned up lightly as my eyes stay focused on mixing. "He came in a time that felt perfect for us." I chuckle, thinking back on how excited I was to welcome my last baby... Three kids felt intimidating but right at the same time. "He loved music, and sports... and games." I shrug, hands hitting the counter as a really deep sigh escapes me. "He wanted to play football at UCLA and he was on the fast track there." I recall, stomach beginning to twist into knots. "It was a Friday night, after one of his games and I let him drive home..." I feel sick talking about it, but I know this comes with opening up to someone new.
He deserves to know what has shaped me.. what has made me who I am today and this is the hardest thing I've ever lived through. Nothing compared to the loss of him.
"Once I got out of the hospital, it felt like the world was crumbling around me." I admit, tears filling the brims of my eyes. "Jerry never forgave me for that..." I whisper, swallowing hard. "And I never forgave myself." I whisper, feeling him quickly wrap his arm around me to pull me in.
"I'm sorry." His heart his pounding too- I can feel it as I snuggle into him.
Biting down on my lower lip, I shake my head very lightly. "We're here now." I have repeated that to myself a million times in the years that have come and gone. "And you've reminded me how to live again."
