EXO OTP's One Shots Collection ⭐

28 - KAISOO, CHANBAEK, BAEKSOO: Tick Tick, Boom Boom, 'Bout to Blow

Title: Tick Tick, Boom Boom, 'Bout to Blow
Pairing: Chanyeol/Baekhyun, Baekhyun/Kyungsoo, Jongin/Kyungsoo
Raiting: M
Genre: Crack, Smut

Summary: Kyungsoo and Baekhyun are heads of a mafia organization. Chanyeol is Baekhyun's bodyguard while Jongin works as a waiter on a small diner.

Warnings: A LOT of Cursing, Attempted Comedy, Sex, Sexual Themes

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(A/N: This fic contains many sexual contents and a lot of vulgarities. I just want to remind you that if you don't like this kind of material, please don't read. The cursing is only for the sake of the story and is not meant to disgrace EXO.)

"GET THE FUCK OUT, YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING, PEASANTS!!!" Kyungsoo yells on top of his lungs, a hand on his forehead as he kicks the silver briefcase lying on the floor. Ten black muscled men scurry outside the dark room, pushing one another as they run for their lives.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck fuck--"

"STOP THAT OH MY GOD," Baekhyun annoyingly says without turning his head up from his phone which displays Candy Crush level 169 with a 'Divine!' and 'Sugar Crush!' booming throughout their Secret HQ. Baekhyun grins when the candies pop out at the end of the game.

"--fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck--"

"What the fuck is your problem?" Baekhyun asks, abandoning his phone on top of the comfy couch as he crosses his legs. "Are those firearms defective again!?"

"No, no, no, no, no, no," Kyungsoo mutters repeatedly as he shakes his head. He eyes the briefcase on the floor and quickly picks up a shotgun. He twirls it around his fingers and aims it at Baekhyun.

"WHAT THE HELL, PUT THAT DOWN!!!" Baekhyun says, his eyes wide. He steps closer to Kyungsoo slowly, oh so slowly, before he grabs the gun from Kyungsoo's hands tentatively, his fingers tight around the handle and the trigger.

Baekhyun bites his lips. "I'M GOING TO TAKE THIS THING, OKAY?"

"OKAY," Kyungsoo breathes as Baekhyun removes the gun, sighing and kicking it to the floor. Kyungsoo looks up to him. "I'M SORRY."

"It's okay, honey. Now, tell me what's the problem," Baekhyun says calmly, massaging Kyungsoo's shoulders in front of him. "Is it that guy again?"

"He won't accept my money," Kyungsoo says, pouting. "It's fucking 100 Million won but he won't take me out on a date. Fuck that guy!!!"

"Oh, honey, I'm so sorry," Baehyun coos. "Let me handle this for you, okay? I will kill that guy."

"NO!!!" Kyungsoo yells, nudging Baekhyun's arm on top of his shoulders. "Lay a single finger on Jongin and I will fucking end your life, you son of a bitch!"

Baekhyun raises an eyebrow at him as he glares daggers at Kyungsoo. "You fucker, choosing a guy over me! What an ungrateful bastard you are! I swear I'm going to kill him first before you can murder me."

"I hate you so much," Kyungsoo mutters under his breath, sighing. "Why are you making my life miserable."

"Because I love you."

"Fuck you."

Baekhyun laughs, crossing his arms over his chest. "You know, poor people sometimes don't accept bribery. Like Chanyeol."

"What did you do to him?"

Baekhyun grins. "I gave him the best blowjob of his life. Then he asked me out."