The Chicken Zombies

Chapter 4-- (Don't) Do the Dew

"Man, Shakira. That was some of the best pizza I've ever eaten," said Dante, patting her tummy as the old red SUV sped through the city"If only we'd had some money to pay for it instead of running out screaming like psychopaths."

"Meh." Shakira shrugged. "What else were we supposed to do, go to our houses to eat and hide from Ronaldo Rosenpinis?¨ She laughed rather maniacally. Dante joined. "Seriously, though, where are we gonna go to hideout?"

"We could go to my house," Dante suggested.

"No you idiot! 'Oh, let's just go to my house. Ronaldo Rosenpinis will never look there,'" Shakira said, doing a terrible impersonation of Dante's voice. "No, you imbecile! We must sneak into someone's garage and live there until we can formulate a plan!"

"Oh, well I was just thinking-"

"No, you weren't, Dante. You never think! I don't even know who you are anymore!"

Dante was silent a moment before saying, "I'm sorry, Shakira. I didn't realize that I had been thinking. I'll try not to anymore. It's just that... after I watched Abi's cold dead eyes. I've been really scared that..." Dante burst into tears. "When she turns back into a human, she'll kill me for ripping a page of her book out!"

"Which book?" Shakira asked.

Dante was sobbing now. "Catching Fire!"

"Oh, yeah." Shakira nodded while she continued driving. "You are a dead man."

"I know!"

"Hey," Shakira said. "I know how we can make it up to you! We just have to

sneak into this one lady's house and steal her pop and live in her garage until we make a legit plan."

Dante sniffed. "Okay."

So then, Shakira and Dante snuck into some lady's house across the street from the school and stole her Mountain Dew.

"Dude," Shakira said. "Mountain Dew tastes like the urine of a diseased squirrel."

"Meh." Dante took a sip. "I think it's good."

Just then, very randomly, a loud voice called out, "Who the funky cow's tail is parked in our driveway?!"

"Quick, Shakira! Hide behind the fridge," Dante whispered. Shakira did.

They saw a very fat man and his very short wife enter the garage.

"Well, dear," said the woman. "Maybe the owner of that old red SUV got confused and parked it at the wrong house."

The fat man snarled. "Or," he growled. "Some hooligans are drinking my Mountain Dew!" The fat man ran (or, rather, waddled) to the fridge. He violently threw the refrigerator door open and counted his Dews. 

"There are only 13!" he exclaimed. "This morning, there were 15! Grawrarrere!" He then ripped the fridge door off. Shakira and Dante cowered behind it. Unfortunately, the fat man saw them. "You, hooligans! Get outta my garage before I snap your necks and fill your ears with my toenails."

"Eeek!" The young girls shrieked as they sprinted out of the garage and into the parking lot, but only after Dante grabbed the rest of the Mountain Dews. Doing so only angered the fat man, who proceeded to waddle after Dante.

"Grraww!" growled the fat man.

Shakira gracefully threw herself into the driver's seat, diving in through an open window instead of using the door like a normal person would. What can I say, Shakira liked drama.

Dante tried to do the same, but tumbled through the window with a sound that can only be described as, "boombangcowmoogunshotsbangbangbumpcathowlboom". Unfortunately, she was not as graceful as Shakira.

"Ow," Dante whined, rubbing her temple. "That really-Ah!" She screamed, as the fat man had dived onto the windshield. "Go, go, go, go, go, Shakira!"

And Shakira did. She first pulled forward, running the fat man into his wife and the fridge with the (now broken) door. Then, Shakira made an ugly U-turn through their lawn and sped through the streets of Jimville.

"Why didn't you just back out?" Dante screamed as Shakira continued going 75 mph through town.

"I never learned how!" Shakira screamed back. Then they both screamed because someone had pounced through the open back window of the SUV.