The Chicken Zombies

Chapter 18-- Pierre/Noah

They all stared at the room. Two beds divvied up amongst six people. One bathroom divvied up amongst six people.

"I want a bed!" Dante suddenly called out, sprinting and throwing herself on one.

"Me too!" said Hillbilly, jumping onto the other bed.

"No, guys. We have to decide this evenly," Noah, the voice of reason, said. "Two to a bed sounds good to everyone?"

Everybody nodded.

"I say," Noah began. "That everyone except Ace and Shakira gets a bed."

"WHAT?" shouted Shakira.

"That's bloody unfair!"

"Not really," said Dante.

"Well why us?" demanded Shakira.

"You," said Abi, pointing a finger at Ace. "Cheated at Uno. So screw you, Ace!"

"And you," said Noah, pointing his finger at Shakira. "Were a baby about riding on a motorcycle. You made us stay out way later than we planned, and now we're all tired. So screw you, Shakira!"

Ace and Shakira scoffed. Noah and Abi high-fived. Hillbilly and Dante tried not to laugh but it didn't really work so they ended up cackling like psychos.

"Can we at least have pillows?"

"Nope."

"A blanket?"

Abi threw one lonesome sheet to them.

"YOU GUYS SUCK!" Shakira whined, trying to get comfortable on the floor with her one sheet.

"OOOH!" Hillbilly said, turning on the TV with the remote he found. "Since Noah and Ace always get to pick the channel, I'm choosing what we watch tonight."

"Oh, no." Ace dug his face into the floor.

Hillbilly turned to channel 411 and on came Duck Dynasty. Everyone groaned except Dante, who said "YES BABY!" and kissed Hillbilly on the cheek. He blushed.

Noah turned out the lights, and everyone fell asleep.

Roughly one hour later...

Ace lay awake, staring at the ceiling and chewing his tongue. He had recently concocted a list of five different types of sleepers, aka everyone in this room.

EXHIBIT A: The blanket hogger. Dante was currently surrounded by sheets, tangled up in them like a burrito. She left Hillbilly absolutely nothing, and he lay shivering on the other side of the bed.

EXHIBIT B: The snorer. Speak of the devil, Hillbilly Jones took long, loud breaths as he snored all night long. It was a wonder, Ace thought, that no one else had woken up with his extreme loudness.

EXHIBIT C: The kicker. Shakira rolled around and was constantly in new positions in her sleep. At one point she was literally on top of Ace, the next she was ten feet away from him. Currently, she was sprawled in a position with one leg and one arm over Ace, the other two bent at weird angles in the opposite direction.

EXHIBIT D: The cuddler. From what Ace could see, Abi had been clinging to Noah like her life depended on it. Arms tightly around his waist, head on his chest, and what looked like a small smile on her face. In the beginning, when Noah was still awake, he had been cuddling her back, but now he was totally asleep.

EXHIBIT-

Suddenly, Noah pushed Abi off the bed.

Whap!

Was the sound as she hit the hotel room floor. "Oww..." said Abi sleepily. "What gives?"

Noah looked hazily at her and said, "Je suis l'homme endormi, regarde-moi marcher." (Translation: I'm the sleeping man. Watch as I walk.) He got up, stomping loudly to the far end of the room.

"What the heck?" murmured Shakira as she rubbed her eyes. "Oww, I slept with my contacts in!"

"Wasssgoinon?" slurred Dante, who had woken up. She sat up and yawned.

Hillbilly stopped snoring. "Huh?" he said, looking around.

Now everybody, except Noah, was awake.

"Exhibit E," spoke Ace. "Noah, the sleepwalker and talker."

Noah sneered at Ace. "Je vais te poignarder, motard!" (I'm going to stab you, biker!)

"What is he saying?" Abi asked.

"Oh, we don't know. We think it's French," Hillbilly responded.

Then, Noah took off full speed at Shakira and Ace. Shakira quickly shoved Ace out of the way, dodging Noah's French alter ego. Noah ran headfirst into the door, and knocked himself to the ground, passed out.

"I am so not dealing with this right now." Dante rolled back over in bed.

Abi walked over and poked Noah in the arm. "Um, is he okay?" She waved a hand in front of his face. "Noah, are you there?"

Noah grabbed her arm and judo-flipped her.

Abi let out a puff of breath, having gotten the wind knocked out of her.

"What the heck, man?" said Shakira.

Noah sprang up and dusted off his plain black t-shirt; Abi was still wearing his pilot's jacket. Then, he judo-flipped Shakira, too.

He leered over Shakira and commanded, "Vous pensez que vous pouvez m'arrêter, mais je suis invincible!" (You think you can stop me, but I'm invincible!)

Shakira and Abi, both still on the ground, looked at each other.

"Et restez en bas!" (And stay down!)

Ace, seemingly bored of this whole situation, walked over to Noah. "Alright, chaps. I'm going to explain something to you that I've learned on my multiple road trips with Noah." He poked Noah on the small of his back and Noah toppled over. "At roughly 1:30, 2:00 am, our pal Noah seems to be possessed by an angry, violent, French man who Hillbilly and I refer to as 'Pierre'."

"Pierre is a psychopath," Hillbilly said. "But if you want Pierre to go away, just remember this saying: 'If Pierre has you under attack, just try to poke Noah on his lower back.' Works like a charm." Ace nodded in agreement.

"So... When Noah wakes up... He'll be Noah again?" asked Abi slowly.

"Yep." Hillbilly got up and extended his hands to Abi and Shakira. They still hadn't bothered to get off their backs.

"Well, if we're done with this, I'm going back to bed," Abi stated, crawling back into the rumpled sheets.

"Wait!" Shakira called. "If he's going to stay there for the night-" she motioned to Noah's limp figure near the door. "Can I sleep in the bed?"

Abi's eyes were shut, but she uttered an, "I really don't care."

"Yes!" Shakira cheered.