The Chicken Zombies

Chapter 15-- We Discuss Facts About Dante and Ace's Fake Homeland

Boy, was Dante glad to be back.

As soon as they got to the hotel, she threw her arms around Hillbilly and said "Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!"

And he'd responded with, "Hey man, I don't know why you're thanking me, I was the reason you were there."

And she'd said. "No, bro, you're cool. That was a pretty sick wheelie"'. And then she high-fived him and they began to head inside the motel.

Then, Abi and Noah appeared. They got off the bike and she hugged him. "AKJLDKFSA! THAT WAS SO COOL!"

"I know!! You were awesome! Like a crime fighting spy or something!"

"Psh." She lightly pushed his chest. "You pushing me was the only reason I actually got to the car! Otherwise I'd be a pancake on the road!"

"Oh, no! That was all you, stud!" he lightly punched her shoulder.

"Okay, okay. I was awesome!" She was jumping up and down, so excited.

They kept discussing Abi's awesomeness when Ace and Shakira rolled in. Shakira's drool was running down the back of his leather jacket.

"Um, is she...?" Abi asked.

"Oh yeah," Ace replied. "She's been out since the second she jumped out of the car. Just barely caught her then chucked her on the back." He chuckled for a second. "Welp, suppose I ought to wake her up..."

Right then, Hillbilly and Dante walked out. "Got us three rooms!" Hillbilly said.

"For only fifteen dollars!" finished Dante.

Everybody winced except Shakira, who was still asleep.

"Um, sweetie..." Abi began.

"What?" Dante said. "Oh, and thank you for saving me!"

"You're welcome. But... Just how crappy are these rooms?"

These rooms were very, very crappy. Okay, not like, dead body crappy or rat crappy. But not at all clean and fairly disgusting.

"Well how about Abi and I go to the nearest Walmart and buy some new sheets so we don't get any...diseases or anything," said Noah. "I've got some money, but probably only enough that we'll be two to a bed."

"So Shakira and I, Hillbilly and Ace, and oooooh," Dante sang. "Abi and Noah sittin' in a tree. K-I-S-S-"

"Let's just go!" Abi announced, already rushing off onto the motorcycle.

Once they were gone, Dante immediately asked, "So they're a thing now?" She began chomping on beef jerky.

"Where'd you get the beef- Nevermind," said Shakira, who had been woken right before entering the room. "I just realized that I don't really care. Anyway, they're not dating but they are both obviously interested in each other, if you catch my drift."

"Ah," said Dante. "Young love. So sweet, so precious, so naive."

Shakira laughed.

"I don't know what you're laughing at, you fell for the gay guy," chuckled Ace while staring at his phone.

"How did you... Oh yeah. Thanks a lot, Abi. For having to tell that part of the story."

"Wait-they know about all that?" Dante asked.

"Yeah, they told us when you were kidnapped or whatever," added Hillbilly.

"Oh, right."

Shakira looked at Dante. "Also, did you just like, hop in Rosenpinis' car, or what?"

Dante gazed into nothingness as if recalling a distant memory. "It's a very long story..."

"Well that's okay, we don't need to hear it-" started Ace.

"Once upon a time, there was a person named Dante, who decided to get on the back of a handsome man named Hillbilly's motorcycle. Then he was like, 'Hold on, I'm gonna do a wheelie.' And I was like 'What's a wheelie?' And then he did one and I fell on the road, and it hurt. But whatever!

"And then I crawled over to the side of the road, waving and trying to get Hillbilly's attention. But then, Mr. Sour appeared! He said, 'Hey, Dante, need to catch up with your friends?' and I said yes!

"But then he ripped off his mask and he was Ronaldo Rosenpinis! But, like, I didn't want to jump out of a moving vehicle so I just kind of hung out there."

Shakira looked at Ace, and Ace looked at Shakira. They both had the same look on their faces. The this-chick-is-stupid-look.

Then Ace raised his eyebrows. She's your friend, his face said.

Shakira rolled her eyes. Whatever.

"Oh, also, Dante, did Abi tell you to turn your location off on Snap?"

"Hillbilly did as soon as I got on his bike. He's so smart."

Ace choked. "Hillbilly, smart?"

Dante smiled widely at Hillbilly. "He's way smarter than Shakira." Shakira looked appalled. Ace laughed. "And probably smarter than Abi, too. Definitely smarter than you, Ace." Ace scoffed. Shakira laughed. "But, Hillbilly..." Dante said. "I'm sorry, but you'll never be as smart as me."

"What do you mean, 'definitely smarter than Ace'?" Ace demanded.

Hillbilly slung his arm around Dante's shoulders. "I'm alright with being the second smartest person on the planet."

Dante smiled, looked at him and said, "We should date."

"Okay, let's date."

"Great. Now you're my boyfriend."

"Cool, girlfriend."

Shakira coughed. "You guys have literally known each other for like four hours."

Dante shrugged. "Yes. Your point?"

"You can't be a couple until you get to know each other," explained Ace snobbily.

"We know each other perfectly fine," answered Hillbilly.

"Prove it," said Shakira. "I'll quiz you over Dante, and if you miss less than two, you can date."

"Fine. Works for me."

"What's Dante's favorite color?"

"Black or red."

Shakira blinked, impressed. "Favorite... Number?"

"She likes 2, 4, 8, and 14. She said she has something against odd numbers, but doesn't really know why."

"Um, favorite food?"

"Plain pasta or pizza."

Shakira raised her eyebrows. Then, she smiled an evil smile. "When she was eight years old, what kind of career did she want?"

Hillbilly bit his lip, trying to recall exactly what Dante had said. "Dante was going to say doctor, but then you said you were going to take over the world, so she said she'd help you with that and make her brother your servant."

Shakira's jaw dropped. "What the fu-" she murmured.

"Yeah, we talked a lot on the three hour ride here," chirped Dante. "And we are definitely interested in each other."

"My god," said Ace. "What is it with you people and saying, 'interested' in italics?"

"Well what is it with you saying everything in that stupid voice?" asked Dante. "Oh hullo, my name's AICE, would you like to ride on mai moto-boyke?"

"Dante, he's British!" exclaimed Shakira.

"Oh, yeah, because Britain is a real place," snickered Dante, nudging Hillbilly who laughed with her.

Shakira pinched the bridge of her nose in disappointment as Ace put his head in his hands and groaned.