The Chicken Zombies

Chapter 34-- "CHANDLER AND MONICA, CHANDLER AND MONICA!"

 Ace's phone rang. He was still driving through the streets of London, angrily cursing at the big city traffic. Shakira was slumped in the passenger seat next to him, her head leaning on his shoulder. She was still awake, he thought, but her slow breathing made him think otherwise.

Ace picked up. "Yes?" he asked impatiently.

He heard a sigh of relief on the other side of the line. "Oh, thank God you're alright." Abi let out another sigh. "Do you have anyone with you? Dolph, Dante, Shakira, Hillbilly?"

Ace looked at the tired Shakira leaning against him. "Blondie's with me. Haven't heard from the rest of the lot. You got Noah?"

"Yeah. But he's not really... all here. Long story short, he was drugged."

"Ah. Well, that's London for ya."

"No! He was drugged by a chicken zombie!" Abi explained.

"Really?"

"Yes! And then Angel and I-"

"Wait, wait, wait," Ace interrupted. "Isn't Angel the girl you were super jealous about?"

"Well, yeah, but she's gay so it's fine. Anyway, we poured water on the chicken zombie, and then we left. But Noah is weird."

"I suppose being drugged will do that to you." Shakira shifted against Ace. "I've got a very tired drunk Shakira lying on me right now, and I'm sure she's the same as Noah."

"I'm sure of it. But you've really heard nothing from Hillbilly or Dante?" Abi sounded concerned.

"I'm sure they're alright."

"But-"

Ace took a breath. "Look, Abi, I'm sure they're fine. Let's find a place to crash, see if we can get a hold of the other three, and fly back to Jessville-"

"Jimville."

"That's what I said. Then, on the way there, we come up with a kick-arse plan, beat Ronnie Rosiepants-"

"Ronaldo Rosenpinis."

"That's what I said. Stop interrupting. Anyway, we beat your city supervillain, try to not die, and then figure out where to go from there."

Abi sighed in frustration. "Ace, that's not a plan. That's just you saying, 'Oh, yeah, we'll wing it.'"

"Winging it is a plan," insisted Ace.

"No, it's- Ugh, whatever! Just meet me at the airport tomorrow! Ten in the morning!" Abi hung up.

Ace rolled his eyes. He nudged Shakira. "Will you even be up by ten?"

She murmured softly in response.

"Hmm?" Ace asked.

Shakira slowly moved away so she could face him. Her makeup was smudged on one side of her face, probably left on Ace's tux. "What's going on?" She was sober now, for the most part, though her voice was raspy and low from dehydration.

"Noah and Abi got away fine. Well, not fine, Noah was drugged. But he's alright. No word on Hillbilly, Dante, and Dolph."

Shakira bit her lip. It was silent.

Seeing a nice-looking hotel, Ace pulled over and parked. "I'll get us a room. Stay here." Shakira nodded.

A few minutes later, Ace came out, and showed Shakira in. They walked to their room in awkward silence. Ace yawned and took off his tie and tuxedo jacket, while Shakira sat on the bed.

Finally, Shakira said, "Ace, I'm sorry."

Ace looked appalled. "For what?"

"Getting drunk. Being stupid. Making you carry me--I know I'm not light-- And embarrassing you in front of your guests and-"

"Oh my god, Shakira!" Ace laughed. "I don't care about any of that!"

"I have a hard time believing that."

Ace counted off on his fingers. "One: I know my family better than anyone else. If there's one thing they know how to do, it's get other people drunk. I do not blame you for your drunkness. Two: yes, you're like five hundred fifty kilos, but I am ridiculously strong and it's not that big of a deal."

Shakira scoffed. "I am not five hundred fifty-"

"Three: I hate my family. I told you this. So do you really think I care about you embarrassing me in front of them? No, in fact, I found it hysterical and will definitely hold it against you for the rest of your life. Overall, the only downside of the night was the whole chicken zombie shooter thing."

Shakira slowly broke into a grin. "Aw, Acey, I knew you liked spending time with me."

"Oh, I know for a fact that you like spending time with me more than I like spending time with you," Ace argued, but he too was smiling.

Shakira shook her head. "Sorry, pal, it's very clear to see that you are head over heels in love with me."

"Puh-lease. I've saved your life how many times now? Oh right, like five."

"First of all, bud, you've saved my life thrice. Not five times, three. Tres. Trois. And what would you saving my life have to do with me being in love with you?" said Shakira.

"Oh, you wanna talk about love? How about the fact that you've been in love with me since the moment we met?" Ace retorted, still grinning. They were mere inches away and they kept getting closer the deeper the argument ran.

"I DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU. MUCH LESS, I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH-" Shakira was abruptly cut off by Ace smashing his lips against hers.

Her eyes widened in surprise at first, but then she melted into the kiss. Ace's lips tasted like mint, and Shakira was pretty sure she could die doing this. It lasted a while, but finally Ace pulled away, smiling. "What was that about not having a crush on me?"

Shakira rolled her eyes. "There's a fair chance I may have a slight crush on you. SLIGHT! And I'm drunk. It's not like I'm in love with you or anything."

Ace raised a brow.

"Stop it!" Shakira said, blushing. "And you're the one who kissed me! Clearly you're more interested in me than I am in you!"

"Psh! I-I only did that to prove that you like me!" Ace stuttered, looking quite flustered.

"Liar!"

Ace threw his hands up. "Alright, fine! You got me. I might like you a little." He paused. "Wanna make out again?"

"No! Well... yeah."

Ace kissed her again. Shortly after, though, she pulled away. "You can never ever tell anyone about this," Shakira demanded.

"Deal." They kissed again.