The Chicken Zombies

Chapter 25-- Capture the Cowboy Hat Gone Horribly Wrong Pt.2

Shakira continued on, rapping Fergie as she moseyed through the dark and frightening forest.

Then, she was trying to think of all the top dance moves of the 2010s, and proceeded to perform this. Really, she was doing this because she was scared of being alone in the dark, but she was having fun nonetheless.

She whipped and nae-naed. She dabbed. She milly-rocked. She stanky-legged.

And then, she did her favorite: hit the folks. But she was shocked to see that she had punched someone right in the nose as she somewhat aggressively pulled her right hand back.

Shakira screamed as the person tumbled over. She didn't recognize him as one of the guests also staying in the house, so she kicked and kicked and kicked him as he lay limp on the dirt.

"DOLPH?" She shouted. "Oh my gosh, DOLPH! HELP ME SOMEBODY!" Shakira screamed.

Eventually, Abi and Noah ran over, startled.

"Is he..." Abi said, a question in her voice.

"Dead? No. A Chicken Zombie? Most likely."

Dante joined them, a cowboy hat and a flashlight in her hands and branches and dirt on her face, which still had a pink kiss on one cheek and a green one on the other. "LOOKIE WHO WON!!!" she exclaimed. "While you two were confessing your love, I got the- Is that... No, it can't be..." Dante stared at a passed-out Dolph. "NOOOO! I THOUGHT WE DITCHED HIM!!!"
"Well, looks like he found us."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO."
Hillbilly appeared. "What's wrong babe?"

Dante motioned to Dolph. "MY MORTAL ENEMY HAS RETURNED!"

Shakira rolled her eyes. "Shut up, would you? We need to get him in the pool to make him normal again."

"Wait, wait, wait," said Noah. "This the gay guy?"

"Yup."

Noah laughed. "The one that broke your heart?"

"We don't talk about that. Now help me carry him to the pool before he wakes up."

Everybody grabbed a limb and shuffled as they moved Dolph to the pool. Ace was still passed out against a tree somewhere, but no one was really concerned.

Dolph started stirring right as they got to the pool. He shoved everyone off him with a newly blackened eye, and kicked both Abi and Noah at the same time. Then he performed a perfect Attitude Adjustment (copyright John Cena) to Hillbilly. Dolph clotheslined Shakira.

Dante, seeming to come out of nowhere, suddenly speared Dolph into the pool.

Dolph struggled against Dante at first, kicking and punching under the water, but soon stopped moving.

Everyone outside of the pool looked anxiously at the water, waiting for him to return to normal. Dante released him, hoping he'd drown.

And then, Dolph's eyes snapped open. He stared at Dante, then Shakira and Abi and Noah and Hillbilly.

"Um, what did I miss?" Dolph slowly asked. "And... Why am I in a pool?" He looked at Abi. "And what's with the Jolly Green Giant?" He glanced at Shakira. "And Peppa Pig?"

"Hey, he's back to being regular, old, confused all the time Dolph! Hooray!" Shakira cheered.

"That answers literally none of my questions."

Dante heaved a sigh. "Pretty much," she said as she began to tell the tale. "After you told Shakira she was garbage-"

"I didn't say she was garbage, I said I was gay!"

"Whatever. After you told Shakira she was ugly, we drove away and Abi jumped in the car. Long story short, I beat Abi up-" Abi rolled her eyes. "And we splashed water on her. Then we met up with these lunatics-" Dante motioned to Hillbilly and Noah. "And their British sidekick. And we rode around the countryside on motorcycles and fell in love," she explained. "And now we're here. Any questions?"

"You fell in love in two days?"

"Yes. Hillbilly and I, Noah and Abi, and Shakira and Ace."

Shakira waved her arms. "I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH ACE!"

"Shut up. Any other questions?"
"Yeah, where are we?"

Hillbilly stepped forward. "Archer, Texas. Although I guess we're in more of the countryside.... Whatever. It's my house. I'm Billy Jones, nice to meet you."

"Um, you too, man. Does anyone know how I got here?"

They all shook their heads.

"Nope."

"No clue."

"Sorry, pal."

"I dunno."

"Codswallop." Everybody looked at Dante. She laughed dumbly. "Yeah, I don't know what that word means, but it's fun to say."

"Um, guys," said Shakira randomly. "Should we go find Ace? He could be stuck in a tree somewhere."

"You guys are so cute," teased Dante. "Always worried about each other. And stuff."

Shakira rolled her eyes. "I am no longer talking to you."

"No, I'm with Shakira," Noah agreed. "He could have passed out against a tree or something."

"Hey wait," said Dolph. "Why am I in the pool with Dante?"

"You beat everyone else up, but I, the strongest of the group, tackled you into the pool with ease," bragged Dante.

"So... Dante saved me?" asked Dolph. Then he squeezed Dante in a tight hug. "THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!"

"Let go of me, you bloody wanker!" She shoved him away. "Ugh, I've been spending too much time with Ace."

"One last question," said Dolph. "Why are Abi and Shakira green and pink?"

Abi and Shakira shrugged.

"Why not?" responded Noah.