The Chicken Zombies

Chapter 32-- I STILL GET JEALOUS

"Wow," Abi breathed. "Everything here is so amazing!" She picked up a chocolate truffle from a waiter's plate. "Especially the food."

"Oh yeah, without a doubt the best chocolate-covered shrimp I've ever had," agreed Noah. "I didn't even know they made chocolate-covered shrimp!"

Abi mimed a gag. "And I don't know why anyone would."

"It was actually really good!"

"Whatever you say, Noah," Abi said, chuckling. "If you enjoy cocoa covered fish, I guess that's your call."

"When you say it like that, it's gross but really-"

"OH MY GOSH NOAH JAMES IS THAT YOU?!" interrupted a Jersey accent with platinum blonde hair and the longest nails you've ever seen. Suddenly, Noah was being tackled by a tiny girl in a tight white dress.

"Angel?! What are you doing here?" he exclaimed, grinning broadly as he hugged her back, picking her up off the ground. Abi stood uncomfortably next to them.

Finally, Noah set Angel down. She was short, almost a full head shorter than Abi, which meant two heads shorter than Noah. And she had flawless skin and bright eyes and-

"You know I'd never miss a party!" Angel said in that Jersey voice. She smiled, showing off perfect pearly whites. "And my Daddy's here for some stupid work thing, so I get to go to these gorgeous places! And look at how hawt my dress is!" She spun, showcasing the tight white gown.

"Wow! It's awesome that you get to travel with your dad," said Noah.

"It sure is!" Angel finally looked at Abi. "And who is this cutie?"

Abi stepped in a little closer to Noah. "I'm Abi. Noah's girlfriend." She gave Angel a dangerous grin that she hoped would send the message, 'GET LOST.'

"Nice ta meetchya!" Angel shook Abi's hand somewhat aggressively. "I'm Angelique Willer! Noah's old BFF!"

"Oh?" said Abi, looking at Noah.

Noah said, "Our moms were best friends, and their moms, and-"

"Everyone always hoped we'd get married." Angel giggled. "And then we moved to Jersey. But he's got you now. So what do you think of Jen?"

"Umm..." Abi said.

Noah stepped in awkwardly. "Abi actually hasn't met my family yet."

"Oh!" Angel exclaimed. "Well, you'll love 'em. Noah's family is so great!" She said it with a strange tinge of something in her voice, and Abi was nervous that Angel was showing interest in her man.

"Angel, it was... so nice to meet you. But I gotta go find Shakira. You two catch up!" Abi walked away quickly before anyone could notice that she was pinching her lips together to keep from crying.

"A-Hace," a voice sang. "Oh whereeeee is my hairbrush? I mean, date. Where's my date?" A laugh.

Ace turned around to see Shakira twirling around behind him. They were on the dance floor, and Shakira would get spun by one man before crashing into the next. Finally, she caught Ace's eye.

"Oooh!" she said, twirling over to Ace, who had been forced to dance with some fourteen year old girl his aunt knew. Shakira smacked right into the poor girl. "Oh crap, sorry hon!" She called to the girl over the fancy music. "But I gotta steal your daaaannnce parrrtnnner!" She laughed again.

The girl (whose name was Caroline or Kelsey or something) looked pitifully at Ace. "Is this your girlfriend?"

"Well..." Ace murmured.

"Dude," said Caroline/Kelsey. "She's wasted." The girl let go of Ace. "Good luck with that," Caroline/Kelsey said as she walked away.

"Ace!" shouted Shakira, drawing his attention back to her. "Dance with me, stupid!"

"You're drunk," he stated, plain as day.

"Nooooo," she sang. "I mean, I drank some wine, but only like, half a glass."

Ace rolled his eyes. "Of course you'd be a lightweight."

"Actually, in the world of WWE, it's called a cruiserweight. Ask Dolph," Shakira giggled.

"Who gave you the wine?"
She tapped her lip. "Some dudeeee... Or was it a girl? I dunno, man." She laughed. "Maybe it was a raccoon."

"Oh my God." He sighed.

Shakira, seemingly bored of being interrogated, began to dance. It was a hideous dance to the boring classical music being played, a mix of bad nineties moves. But she was vibing.

Ace rolled his eyes, embarrassed. Suddenly, an idea formed in drunk-Shakira's mind. She ran over to the orchestra that was playing. The music stopped, and then he saw Shakira stepping onto the stage with a microphone in her hand.

"How you all doin' tonight?" she called to the dancers, who were no longer dancing.

Everyone looked at her confusedly.

"I'm Shakira Bane, and I will be performing a very close and personal song with a lot of meaning. Thank you." She cleared her throat. The music started. "SOME-body once told me the world is gonna roll me. I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. She was looking kinda dumb-"

Ace couldn't believe this. He was so embarrassed to see her up there. And yet, kinda proud since he hated his family.

"Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming-"

All of the sudden, another voice joined her. "Fed to the rules and I hit the ground runnin'. Didn't make sense not to live for one, your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb!" Shakira's face lit up as Hillbilly joined her on stage. "This is my favorite song!" he shouted.

And then an equally-intoxicated Dante joined the both of them.

And then Dolph joined them.

Ace stood in the audience, laughing at his friends.

When Abi ran onto the dance floor, eyes streaked by mascara, she was appalled to see all her friends doing a kick line and singing, "Hey now, you're an allstar, get your game on, go play! Hey now, you're a rockstar, get the show on, get paid! And allll that glitters is gooooold!"

Finally, she spotted Ace, and ran over to him. "What are they all doing?"

Ace squinted as he looked at her makeup. "Have you been crying?"

"No," she lied. "Anyway, what's going on?"

He looked back up at the stage. "Well, your friends up there are drunk on wine."

"Who? Shakira and Dante?"

"Yeah. And then everybody thought it'd be a good idea to sing with them," he explained.

"Huh. Wow, they even got Dolph up there!"

"Surprising, right? So where's Noah?"

Abi bit her lip. "Oh.. he's, um, chatting with a friend."

"Let me guess: she's hot?"

"Yeah! Like, totally hot! Skinny and blonde with really good teeth and perfect skin! And a Jersey accent! I don't have an accent! But I'm really worried that he'll like her more than me and they'll get married and fulfill their parent's dreams!"

Ace nodded awkwardly. "Huh."

Abi threw up her arms impatiently. "That's all you have to say?"

Ace shrugged.

"Wow, you're as bad at giving advice as Shakira," Abi admitted. "Like, c'mon man! I came over here for an inspirational pep talk, but I just got a 'huh'. Extremely disappointing." She shook her head. "I'm gonna go find Alex. Perhaps she will tell me I'm great and Noah likes me no matter what."

Ace was confused. "But didn't you just tell yourself all that?"

"I need validation from others!"

Ace shook his head. "Women," he murmured.