𝐀𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐆𝐨𝐝𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐧 𝐁𝐚𝐛𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 | Steve Harrington x Reader

XLV - The Nightmares

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐲 seems to drag on forever. But that's just how the days are now. School has started to become the worst part of my life. My brother and his friends now attend High School but I only see them from time to time. They've all become busy with their own respective social lives and school work, Dustin and Mike with Hellfire and Lucas with basketball, leaving little time for me. Not that I mind too much. Unfortunately, Robin's so caught up with band so I never see her either. I only get to hang out with her when we're working at Family video on the weekends, and Nancy... Well Nancy still remains lost in her feelings about Jonathan leaving, occupying herself with her work as the head of the Hawkins High newspaper. I read her articles regularly and am always impressed, but I truly miss her company. I wish I could just have my friend back, but nothing feels the same nowadays.

The worst part of all of this is the nightmares, which often plague my thoughts whenever I don't have a distraction from my constantly whirling mind. The nightmares started weeks after the battle at Starcourt mall and have continued ever since. In these dreams, everyone dies, everyone I've ever loved. They lay lifeless on the mall floor and I stand around them, dried blood on my hands. I'd killed them all. It was all my fault, and it would forever haunt me. Sometimes the nightmares are different. Sometimes it's just Steve that dies, just Dustin, just Robin, just Nancy, just Jonathan. But every single time, it's always me. I always kill them. The first nightmare I'd had, I woke up gasping for air, covered in sweat. I didn't know what to do but my thoughts drifted to Steve. I immediately called him, the cord of the telephone twisting around my finger, my heart racing with anticipation and fear as I waited for him to pick up.

"Hello?" Steve answered, his voice still rough with sleep, which had caused a pinch of guilt to form in my stomach, and I almost started to regret calling.

"Hey, Steve." I responded shakily, tears streamed down my cheeks as I clutched the phone tightly and wiped my tears away with the palm of my other hand.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" Steve had said with a concerned tone, and I could hear him sit up from his laid back position in his bed, with one arm behind his head.

"I had a nightmare," I told him, slightly embarrassed, I squeezed my eyes shut, and a few more tears slipped out before I continued, "It was so horrible. You all died and I did it. I killed everyone, Steve." I had admitted, another sob falling past my lips and my stomach twisted around with pain as flashes of my nightmare ran through my head.

"Hey, you didn't do anything, honey." Steve said reassuringly through the phone, and I could hear him walk around his room, in search of something, "It wasn't real, I promise. I'm on my way, okay?" Steve added, as he ran a stressed hand through his hair.

"Don't go, Steve, please."

"You're okay, baby," My best friend said quickly, and I heard him slip on his shoes and jacket, "I'll be right there." Steve added, before the line went silent, which caused me to drop the phone and pick at my nails as I anxiously waited for Steve to arrive.

When Steve arrived to confront me, I instantly fell to pieces in his arms, at which point he just held me close and whispered soft, reassuring words, eventually calming me down and continuing to hold me close until I fell asleep. Until we got together, I would always call him when I had these nightmares, and every damn time he would rush to my house without question.

At first, the nightmares stopped shortly after Steve and I finally got together. However, recently, they've come back, worse then ever before. Despite all the happiness I feel when I'm with Steve as well as the other people I care about, whenever I'm alone at night or by myself during the day at school, it all seems to crumble and go back to the way things were just after the mall disaster. The nightmares have only gotten increasingly worse and I can't bring myself to tell a soul. I'm unwilling to be that burden to others, so I choose to bottle it all up, only seeing the school counselor when I'm force too, and unfortunately today is one of those days.