Omg hi guys!!! Sorry for the wait I've js been busy making Tokio Hotel edits for my TikTok acc also if u wanna check it out my user is: Urlocallatina_74 ——— Warnings: Strong language Suicide-Attempt ——- Y/NS POV I was in the kitchen trying to find something to eat since Mari and Tom where at the doctors since she was five months already I was happy because the gender reveal will be soon I wonder how it's going to go I then go get a bowl to eat some cereal I then look up to see bill after I saw him my appetite went away and a sadden expression wrote upon my face.
Bill looked sad too I wonder why but either way I still had to be nice to him or be friendly since I'm the nice type of person not really but I still had a sweet spot for him ,,uh hello need anything" bill then shakes his head in response of no I then shrug and continue to eat yes maybe it was uncomfortable for me but I still have to push through. ——- Bills pov Y/N asked me a question but I felt so much guilt I didn't have the balls to say a word it was such a pussy move of me but still I was nervous Y/N then shrugged and continued eating like it was nothing I feel like I should tell her but I'm scared I don't know I'm going to too but I'll tell her later not right now. ——- Y/NS POV After I finished eating I went to go wash my dishes while I was washing them bill was rummaging around the fridge looking for something he then got the strawberries and walked over to the sink the memories of him started flooding in my mind.
Memory 1: I was in the kitchen cooking something for me and Bill, bill was sleeping since he had performed last night as I was cooking I feel someone's arms around my waist and it was bill his head was on my shoulder "what are you doing cooking my love just order some food" I then turned to face him "Bill we can't always waste money on fast food" bill then rolled his eyes bill then whispered in my ear "stop cooking and I'll order us some food final decisions" he then left and went to go get his phone and gave me a peck on the lips.
Memory 2: I was leaning on the kitchen counter on my phone scrolling through instagram per usual bored I then felt bill hug me from behind I then turned around and he hugged me even tighter and then started kissing me I then kiss back it grew more intense out hands scattering around each others body that was until Georg walked in "EUW GROSS GET A ROOM" bill and me both embarrassed tan opposite directions from each other while running we year Georg laugh.
Those interactions where so important to me I miss them so much but now where leading to this I have no context on anything I feel so worthless I should confront him about it yea I should I don't give 2 flying fucks imma ask him when he eats his strawberries. ——- Bills POV Y/N then finished washing her dish she then left and went to sit at the kitchen table weird I thought she was going to leave I then wash my strawberries and go to the kitchen table I was eating them until Y/N cleared her throat ,,uh bill can we talk" shit my heart dropped to my stomach "oh um sure what do you want to talk about,, ——- Y/NS POV I was really nervous while I was talking to bill I kept playing with my hands ,,bill I need you to be a hundred percent honest with me" bill then looked at me and put his strawberry down he then sighed and looked at me the direct eye contact made me even more nervous ,, bill why have you been acting weird why bill why we we where-so supposedly in fucking love and now your acting like this it's so fucking fake it's just I can't" ——- Bills POV I felt numb and guilt took over once Y/N said that ,,I'm sorry Y/N I do love you so much I'm sorry you felt that but the reason why I left you like that was because I slept with another woman at a bar I was in desperate need at the time and she was pretty and since I was in my heat and I was drunk I couldn't resist and I felt guilt sleeping with you after that I'm so sorry I want and I hope for you forgive me" ——- Y/NS POV When Bill said that my heart shattered and tears wanted to pry out my eyes I never cried in front of bill but today I cried in front of him I broke into tears I got up from the table and went to the bathroom I locked myself in there and cried I was crying so much I was running out of breath my head and eyes hurt due to how much crying I was tired of everything I walked over to the cabinet and got some pills I then took more than the dose after I got them I shoved them in my mouth I then went on my social medias and on close friends I posted a picture.
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I posted it once the effects started kicking in I sat on the floor with my phone in my hand the memorys of me when I was younger with gustav when I first met Georg when I first met Tom on how he was flirty then he fell in love so deeply when I was confused about my feelings for bill and I tried to push them away by trying to play with him the memory of me accepting I fell in love it was so heart warming thinking about those memory's but I remember the reason Im doing this after a while I felt nauseous and dizzy I knew it was my end I then heard bill shouting and kicking the door from outside I suppose he saw my story but it was too late I'm gone forever now... ——- Bruh that shit was so fucking sad I was sobbing while writing it also I came back from the dead I lost motivation and I didn't know how to start this chapter but I love you guys sm and take care of yourself if you ever r struggling don't be shy come by and say something. Also long chapter cs I felt motivated today😍
