You Can Never Escape Me(BxB)

f o r t y e i g h t

you know what is about to come, so there is no warning needed...

Elias Easton

It was certainly not my first time having sex. I had started sleeping with girls at the age of seventeen and though it has mostly been exciting and satisfying, I have never seen it as something extraordinary.

Not even when I had my first time with Leah I was nervous nor feeling thousand emotions all at once.

However, Leah was the last person I wanted to think about right now, and if it wasn't for Sam, I really wished I would have kept it in my pants back then and not be bound to her till one of the both of us would bite the dust.

But now that I was about to do it with Anthony my whole world got completely turned upside down, and for a brief moment I felt like an inexperienced virgin that didn't know where to start.

I was still waiting for him to tell me that it was all a joke or a test that I failed. After all, I thought that I completely destroyed sex for him and that it would take months, if not even years, to restore what I had ruined.

Since the first day Anthony gave me a second chance, I was putting myself under enormous pressure to not mess up all over again and though it was completely unusual for my nature and way of thinking, I hadn't thought even once of sleeping with him for now because this scenario seemed so distant and far away, that it was simply not worth wasting my nerves on.

"You know that we don't have any condoms or lube-" I reminded him as we were heavily making out on his bed, both of us already having lost all of our clothes on the way to Anthony's bedroom.

"In the back of the second drawer of my bedside table," he interrupted me out of breath, making me sit up from him to hesitantly grab both of these essential things.

There was such a strong mixture of lust and fear, that sparked within me, making me feel dizzy.

I couldn't suppress the thought that the last time Anthony was willing to be intimate with me, ended with me getting poisoned, losing my consciousness on the cold and hard bathroom floor with Anthony hovering over me, wishing dead upon me, before leaving me to rot, completely helpless and alone.

And the fact that out of all days he could have had this urge to sleep with me, he chose the day he hung out with Jace a few hours ago, wasn't the least bit reassuring.

I have always been the type of person to take risks, and if I were to get killed in the end, so be it.

But that was until the moment, I actually realized that I was a father, and wasn't only responsible for my own life anymore.

"You know that if your true intention is to get rid of me, you can drop the act of wanting me, and just get right into it." I told him in a calm tone, studying his facial expression to figure out what was truly going on.

"Please tell me that you aren't being serious right now," Anthony widened his eyes in disbelief.

"I could ask you the same-"

"Do you have any idea how much courage it took me to initiate this. To you it might not be anything special but for me this is a big step, and this is your only thought?" He said out of frustration. "I understand that you have trust issues. I have them too. But I'm trying my best to trust you, even after everything that happened and it's only fair that you try to do the same, if you really want us to work out."

I was slightly taken aback by his words, having to admit that I didn't see it from this perspective, and felt a pang of guilt hitting me.

Anthony was slightly covering his naked body with his blanket, sighing heavily, his arms crossed over his chest, while I stared at him, biting my bottom lip deep in thought.