𝐻𝐸𝑅 // 𝐵𝐼𝐿𝐿𝐼𝐸 𝐸𝐼𝐿𝐼𝑆𝐻 𝐹𝐴𝑁𝐹𝐼𝐶𝑇𝐼𝑂𝑁

HER : 17

billie

"my curly fries aren't curly enough." she pouted as she searched for a curly one.

i looked at my plate and gave her the curliest one i had, her face instantly lit up, "really? for me?" and then munched up on it with the cutest smile on her face.

"look since i'm staying here for the night..." she started with a goofy smile painting her face. "i was thinking, you should dress me for school tomorrow and i'll dress you for school tomorrow. everything from your closet of course." she suggested.

"yes we are definitely doing that." i immediately agreed, that sounds like so much fun. "just are you sure you want to be in school tomorrow?"

"yes i really do want to go tomorrow, that way i can talk to meave and i also have a meeting with the counselor for my application to harvard. i'm trying to get a scholarship." she explained.

"okay then, we're going to school tomorrow." i nodded and ate a curly fry.

"can we watch the office? i kinda maybe got obsessed too?" she partially admitted.

"anything the office? the answer is always yes." i opened my laptop and clicked on the episode emery stopped at. we continued eating our meal and then we cuddled on my bed, under the sheets with the laptop on my thighs.

after about three episodes i could hear light snoring and i realized emery fell asleep on me. i closed my laptop, struggled to place it on my bedside table without disturbing em, but i managed.

i can't believe that emery, the same emery that i had a die hard secret crush on, is in my room, cuddling with me. i can't believe that we're even friends, i can't believe that she chose to be with me when she needed someone.

i'm glad she trusts me. not because i feel special, let's be real i do feel special and that sends butterflies all over my body, but because i only ever want her to have a good life. one that i know i can't be a romantic partner to in, but only a trusted friend. i am trying to learn be okay with that.

she doesn't deserve anything that is happening to her. no one deserves to put up with what she has put up with, especially her. she has the most beautiful soul. i don't know how somebody could look at her and harm her in any way.

"billie wake up." mom shook me awake, faint music that got louder the more i felt awake was playing.

"when did finneas get good at playing the piano?" i sat up and rubbed my eyes.

"it's not fin, it's emery. get up and get ready, you're going to be late for school." mom said. i frowned my brows and zombiely walked into the living room.

the sunlight was shining on her frame so perfectly as she played a melody i've never heard before. all i know that it was anglic and the picture of her was as well. she finished up the song and stared at the window that looked at the backyard.

it felt like once again i went back to one of the four hundred sixty one days i watched her from afar. a certain feeling of deja vu it me and i didn't know if i like it or not. i only know that it is only a privilege to lay eyes on her.

"that was beautiful." my voice rasped.

"you're awake." she turned around to look at me, her hair flying mid air for a second before falling on her back. she walked over to me and held my hand to lead me back to my room. "i've been looking forward to diving in your closet."

"let's do it at the same time, or else we might push it and end up late for school." i nodded. i knew exactly what pick out for her, i bought this cool creamy colored turtle neck last winter that was perfect. a graphic t shirt that i rarely wore because i loved it so much, i had to keep it for occasions.. and a pair of jeans that i knew were going to be too big for her, but that's okay cause i also have belts.