love to hate you.

"Oh I'm gonna-"

13th August 2023, Monaco

I arrived late yesterday evening so I yet had to tell them about the news... and to say I was not happy to do so was an understatement.

We were all invited for brunch at Pascale's place and I decided it would be good to tell them there so I won't have to do it five times.

I get ready and make my way down to the living room where I see charles and arthur already waiting.

Arth arrived this morning so I haven't seen him yet. He comes over to me and hugs me tight. I loved their hugs.. it took me literally everything to not break out into tears.

He smiles at me "how was Greece?"

"I'll tell you guys everything at brunch!" I say smiling and pull them with me outside. The whole car ride I try to avoid everything about the past week.

We arrive at Pascale's place and I open the door being greeted by the lovely smell of fresh baked croissants. Home.

I join her in the kitchen and hug her tight. We all arrange the table together before we sit down and began to eat.

"So tell me belle how was Greece?" Pascale asks me with a smile.

I put down my croissant and sigh "actually.. now that you're all here.." I chuckle and shake my head as I feel my eyes tear up "I have to tell you something."

Eight worried eyes lay on me waiting to continue. "Before I start.. I don't want any of you" I glance at Charles who sits next to me"get angry or something."

Lorenzo who sits in front of me smiles "continue whenever you feel like it."

I smile and nod "I wasn't in Greece."

"What? You send me pictures?!" Arthur says confused.

"Yeah well they were from Pinterest.."

"Where have you been?" Lorenzo asks.

"I was in Milan. I'm sorry I lied to you guys but I needed some time for myself."

"What happend?" Charles speaks up now, putting his arm around my shoulders.

"Long story short... lance broke up with me before we even entered the plane .. i wanted to tell him that I love him.. but he told me not to say it out loud because then he couldn't leave. I told him I don't want him to leave but he did anyways .. so yeah that's basically it."

They are all speechless, Charles is the first to speak up "let's go back to the point where you told us that lance did WHAT?!"

"I said don't get angry."

"How am I supposed to stay calm when he pulls shit like that?!!"

"Charles calm down. He might had a reason..?" Pascale says.

I scoff "well not really. He didn't gave me a good reason..."

"Oh I'm gonna-" charles starts but I cut him off.

"You won't do shit Charles. He doesn't want me. It's fine. I'm fine..."

Arthur gets up from his place and walks over to me hugging me tight. That's when I lost it. I didn't wanted to cry but deep down it hurt so bad. "I- I'm fine..." I say sobbing into Arthur's arms.

After my tears drys Arth goes back to his place. Charles pulls me close to him, placing a kiss on my forehead.

"Okay now can we leave it and keep focussing on the amazing food...?" I say chuckling while wiping the now almost dry tears off my face.

We spend almost the whole day together and I really enjoyed it. We didn't talked about my break up, I was more then thankful for that.

1st September 2023, Monza

We're racing!! In Monza! I'm so exited for this weekend, Monza was definitely one of my favourite races. The way Charles and Carlos literally paint the town red is my favourite thing on earth. I know I'm here with red bull but deep down my heart will always beat for ferrari, don't tell Christian tho.

The past month I threw myself into as much work as possible. I was still sad about the break up but more because I miss lance as my friend. I haven't talked to him and somehow we both managed to not run into each other yet. I was glad about that, I'm pretty scared to randomly start crying when I see him.

I just finished filming a video with checo, max, daniel and yuki. I really loved working with them. I was on my way back into the hospitality as I hear checo calling my name. I turn around and smile "yeah?".

"Everything okay? You seem a bit off lately. Working more then usual and all." He asks carefully.

"Yeah just going thru some shit but it'll be okay."

"If you ever need someone to talk to feel free to come to me."

I smile and give him a short hug "thank you checo" we part ways and I make my way to the media pen to catch up with some colleagues from other teams. No one of them was there so I decided to go for some food back into the hospitality.

That's when I see Lance and Chloe.

I can't help but smile as Chloe comes over to me hugging me tight. She reached out to me multiple times, she really was the cutest. We hug each other tight "it's soooo good to see you!" She says and agree.

Lance has reached us by now and I don't know if it's possible but he looks even better then usual. "Hey Emilia, how are you?" He asks with a safe distance between us.

I try to keep my smile up while my body is craving his touch, even if it's just a hug. "Yeah I'm alright... you..?"

"Me too..." he says with a short smile, nothing like he used to look at me. It felt like everything was gone.

I feel the pain coming back again, just like my eyes which are slowly watering up.

"Good." Is the only thing I say before I give them a short smile, turn around and hurry to leave. I don't want him to see me crying.

I didn't even knew where I was walking I didn't had a place in mind but I stopped somewhere between some hospitalities, knowing that no one will look here for me.

Well apparently... I was wrong.

I hear a familiar voice asking "What happend?!"

******

Sorry for the irregular updates life is a mess and I don't have any time at all but I'm trying...

Hope you like this chapter, let me know what you think!!