love to hate you.

"I bet he's proud of you"

27th July 2023, Spa

Max never took track walks, he rather spends his time differently. It was already late afternoon as I finished everything off for the day, but i really wanted to go on a track walk.

For me, Spa was the definition of the song "daylight". Spa was beautiful, i loved it. But I also hate being here. Ever since Anthoine lost his life here, spa was always a painful one to visits. The recent passing of Dilano here in spa was another tragic accident. Another talent that was taken way too early from us.

They are always a lap ahead of us.

I knew Anthoine for a long time. We were good friend and his passing was something I was never really able to process, especially since I was at the track that weekend. But whenever I think about giving up I think of him and know he wouldn't want that for me. That's also why the track walk here in Spa was more then just that.

I could visit him...

I start walking along the track with my headphones in but no music playing, i simply wanted to prevent people taking to me right now. I make my way up Eau rouge.. now it's not far away anymore. My pace slows down. Maybe I should've taken lance with me like he suggested...

As I arrive at the place of Anthoines passing and see Pierre with a flower bouquet kneeling in front of the barrier. I wait a few seconds before I step closer and put my hand on his shoulder, i knew how hard this was for him.

I didn't plan on meeting pierre here. But I didn't wanted lance to come with me because all the past years I went here with pierre. I'd rather be alone here then with someone else then pierre... This wasn't about the relationship between me and lance, but it was about the friendship of pierre, anthoine and I.

Pierre smiles up to me as he realised that it was me. I kneel down next to him and he wraps his arm arm around me, pulling me closer to him. "I thought you wouldn't come..." he said after a few minutes of silence.

I look up to him "did you wait for me?"

He shrugs "I was scared to go here alone but after later today I thought you didn't wanted to join me so uhm.. i managed to get here but it didn't felt right leaving without you.. so I waited.. yeah.."

"This isn't about us. It's about Tonio"

He nods "I know but I'm still glad that you're here" he smiles softly.

I take a deep breath "God I wish he could be here with us."

"He would beat my ass in f1 on a daily basis" pierre laughs but has tears in his eyes. No matter how many years pass the posting of loosing him wouldn't faint.

"I bet he's proud of you. I mean you're in an all french team, how cool is that?" We both get up and he pulls me in a tight hug.

"Thank you. I will prove them all wrong."

I smile up to him "I know you will"

We remain there for a bit more before we head back to the paddock together.

We don't talk much, but just being together was the support we needed today.

I say goodbye to pierre and get a call form lance "hey love, I wanted to leave now do you want to join me?"

"Yes, I'm on my way to the exit"

"Okay then I'll wait for you"

We end the call and I make my way thru the paddock. As soon as I see Lance I smile. I give him a kiss before we head towards his car. Back in the hotel we take a shower and cuddle up in bed, watching some TV.

"How was your day?" I ask him while laying in his chest.

He strokes my hair "it was alright, too much interviews if you ask me."

I giggle "I know, media day is your favourite"

"How did your track walk go..?" He asks careful.

I take a deep breath but smile "it was good."

He hesitated a moment before he asks "were you okay on your own..?"

I look up to him, something about the way he asked this question was weird.

Almost like he knew I was there with pierre and that he's scared that anything happend.

But how did I not noticed him?

"I wasn't alone. Pierre was already there when I arrived." He just nods and looks back at the TV. "Everything okay?" I ask him.

He nods "uh yeah sure."

"Lance. I told you that I can't avoid him 100%. I'm trying believe me but anthoine was a mutual friend and-"

"It's fine Emilia I understand that.." he answered softly

"But you don't seem fine.."

"Its just- the thought of you two alone makes me nervous."

"I told you there is no need to be nervous or anything. I am with you. That's the only thing that should matter to you."

He kisses my head "I'm sorry love"

"You trust me right..?" I ask him looking straight into his eyes.

Lance POV

There she was. The most special woman cuddled up to me asking me a simple question that I wasn't able to answer just like that...

*****

Ok I just had to put a cliffhanger here once again.. I love it 😂
Sounds good, no?