𝐈𝐧𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

Chapter 4

"You ready?" I asked my son as I helped him buckle his seatbelt. He nodded, "Mama I'm scared." He whined, I kissed his forehead. "You'll be okay, mama's right here."

8 hours and 40 minutes I sighed. As the plane took off Kalias was a bit scared at first but now he's watching Paw Patrol in his headphones. After about three hours of nothing but reading my book I realized Kalias was going to sleep. I yawned a bit tired myself. I wrapped my arm around Kalias as he fell asleep towards me. Since he had the window seat I didn't have anything to lay my head on so I tried my best to get comfortable.

༻༺

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have officially arrived in Rome, Italy." The sound of the voice on the intercom brought me out of my sleep. Kalias was still sleeping peacefully. Once we landed I grabbed our things making sure we got everything.

Once we left the airport I got us a taxi. "Ciao, puoi portarci a D.V. Hotel?"
Hi, can you take us to D.V. hotel?

The man's facial expression turned from shocked to a simple nod. As we began driving Kalias looked out the window. He gasps, "Mommy can we go der?" He asked, I chuckled. "Of course, we can go tomorrow." He nods happily.

༻༺

After we checked in, I settled in the room. Kalias and I took a bath. "Mama." He said, I hummed letting him know I was listening as I washed his back with the rag. "Am I ever going to see daddy?" He asked, "you see pictures of him all the time." I knew what he was saying but I hated to seem like a bad person.

"No, like in person." I sighed, "look at me baby." I said, he turned around facing me. "Your father and I broke up before I found out you were in my belly, I tried to tell him but he did understand and he left. He wasn't coming back, and I don't know if he will. So please baby don't get your hopes up, he might show up and he might not. I know you're young but hopefully you'll understand when you're older that I'm trying to give you the life you deserve."

His head hung low as his lip poked out sadly, tears fell from his eyes as his chest rose up and down softly as he sniffled. I sat him in my lap hugging him tightly, "Is something wrong with me mama?" He cried, tears formed in my eyes. "No baby, you are not the reason he left. He was being a butthead." My voice cracked.

"Thank you mama, I love you." He said kissing my forehead softly, I smiled. "For what?" I asked, his big eyes met mine. "For telling me." I smiled, "You're welcome, also I love you too." I kissed his forehead back.

"I have to wash your back, because you did mine." He said, getting up to go behind me. He grabbed my wash rag and washed my back. A soft smile displayed on my lips. "Okay, I'm done." His soft voice said. "Thank you mama's baby." I got out of the bathtub wrapping myself in my towel then him in his. We put on our socks before walking out the bathroom.

Afterwards, we got dressed in our pjs and watched movies on my laptop. Kalias fell asleep first. The moment in the bathtub kept replaying in my mind. I drifted into thought of what happened years ago.

I asked god Why can't I be enough? Why can't I just be loved by someone? Am I really that unloved? I just want to receive the love I give others? God why can't I just be loved? He sent my answer. I might've felt unloved but he sent me unconditional love that cannot be replaced. I love Kalias more than I've loved anyone my whole life. He's my main priority, it's Kalias.

Everything I do is for Kalias to have a better life. I'd cross the ocean for him, I'd do everything in my power to make sure he never feels emotional pain. It hurts me to know that the pain of his father being here is something I can't fix. He knows I love him more than anything but I can't fix the pain his father caused.

I just hope he knows that I'm sorry, and that I love him. I kissed Kalias's forehead softly, he stirred in his sleep a little. I laid my head on the pillow letting the darkness take over.

Word count: 769