When the Past Returns

Deviens mon éternité, Nikki.

Nikki thought it was a great idea to make June and Gunner watch the smaller ones. I think it's a mistake. They're 16 and when we were 16, we tried every bad thing we could. Hell, even now Nikki still tries to. He bought me a dress, told me to wear it tonight, and to meet him downstairs in the lobby. Was I scared? Yes, Nikki is always full of surprises and sometime those surprises aren't always the greatest. But, here I am, slipping the dress on and asking the nearest kid to zip it for me. As I pull my hair up into a bun, Gunner brings in some movies. "Is that your way of keeping the kids occupied?" I ask. He nods, laughing. "You're such a weird kid. Just like Nikki." I say, mumbling the last part. "Mom, you need to hurry. Dad had your expected arrival at 7. It's 7:15." June says, placing my black heels next to the bathroom doorway. "Well your expected arrival wasn't for another month before I had you so." I say, ruffling her hair. I step into my shoes, grab my bag, and turn to the kids. "Order room service, please, Gunner. I know June isn't responsible enough to do any of this by herself. So, please?" I say. "I will, mom. Don't worry. Go have fun with dad. We love you and no worries." He says with a reassuring smile. "I love you too. Enjoy your movies. Goodnight, babies." I say, walking out and closing the door. I walk to the elevator, slightly nervous, and push the down button.

When I walk in, there's already a family of three, speaking a different language, arguing over....their son? "Avez-vous un tissu?" The woman finally asks me, looking worn out. I give her a kind smile and look in my bag. "Oui, vous pouvez y aller." I say, handing her a Kleenex. "Merci." She says, turning to her boy and wiping his nose. I smile and walk out when the doors open to the lobby. "My god, Abigail. You look beautiful. I thought you stood me up though. But, wow." Nikki says, staring at me. "Nikki, please. You're over-exaggerating again. " I say, feeling myself blush. "No, I'm not. You look so beautiful." He says, taking my hand and kissing it. "Oh, Nikki..." I say, looking away from him. "You're so gorgeous." He says as we walk out. "I'm going to ignore every compliment you give me from here on out, Sixx." I say, looking at the sky. "Fine. Just know that I'm in love with you, Cobb." He says, gripping my hand tighter as we walk. I feel my heart beat faster and a tear come to my eye. I wasn't alone in this? It wasn't a one-sided love? After being lost in thought, we arrive at a restaurant. "Reservations?" The man asks from behind his podium. "Sixx." Nikki says, pulling me close to him. "Follow Lola." He says. "Are you fucking serious?" Nikki asks, obviously annoyed. Sure enough, the same blonde hair, blue eyed sample girl from Musée Gourmet du Chocolat was our waitress. We follow her outside and she gives us our menus. "So, Nikki, you came back for me, no?" She asks, practically laying across our table. "Where's your boss?" He asks, his teeth clenched together. "Nikki, breathe, baby. Breathe. You need to calm down." I say, grabbing his hand. "Don't touch him, you filthy whore!" She says, swatting my hand away. "Fuck off, Lola! I want a different waitress! Now!" Nikki explodes. I get up and wrap my arms around Nikki's waist from behind. "It's okay, Nikki. It's okay. Everything's okay. Nobody's hurt." I whisper. "Abby, I need a drink." he mutters. "Okay, sit right here and I'll get you a drink. But, while I'm gone, I want you to calm down a little. Please?" I say, guiding him to his chair. "I will." He says, looking at me. I see him start to relax little by little and I realize this is what I need to do.

I won't get him a drink, but I'll make him stare into my eyes until he's calm. "What are you doing to him, you monster?" Lola shrieks, putting a glass of yellow liquid down. "Shut up." I say, placing my hands on Nikki's face. "Are you better now?" I ask him. "Yeah, what'd you do?" He asks, smiling his small smile. "I didn't do anything. You did." I say, then look at Lola. "Where's your manage? We'd like to speak with him." I demand, my hands on my hips.

After speaking to the manage and getting a new waitress, Nikki and I finally sat down to enjoy our dinner. "Isn't that Nikki Sixx?" I hear someone ask to someone else a few tables down. "No, that can't be." Their friend says. "I'm going to go look." They say. "We're going to have a visitor." I say, jerking my head in their direction. "Uhhhh....I-I'm Francis Wilcox, a big fan of yours, Nikki." the girl says. She looks about 20s with bleach blonde hair and brown eyes. "Hey, how are you?" Nikki asks, a big smile on his face. I can't help but smile myself. This boy gets me every time..., I think to myself, watching him interact with her. "Can you take a picture with me and my friend?" She asks, shaking. "Of course. Baby, will you take the picture for us?" Nikki asks, handing me her camera. "I'll be delighted to." I say, standing up and quickly taking the shot. "Wait, this is your girlfriend?" Francis' friend squeals. "Yes, this is Abigail Cobb." Nikki laughs. "Hi." I wave, suddenly feeling very awkward. "Can we have a picture with you, too? You were a model before the Crüe, weren't you?" They ask. "Before my first kid. Close though." I say, getting with them. "You're on tour with the band and in their music videos!" Francis shouts. "And in our songs. And she's even about our songs." Nikki says. Wait, what?" We all say at once. "Yep. Didn't know that, did you?" He asks, taking my hand. "No, I didn't. You have explaining to do when we go back to the hotel." I mumble. "Yes, ma'am." He says. "We'll be at your next concert, Nikki. Bring Abby and your kids next time." They say, leaving. "Tonight's just full of wonders." I whisper. "Oh you don't even know." He says, sitting down. We start eating again. "Chocolate cake!! Numnum!" I say, rubbing my belly. "Oh my god. You're so weird." He says, looking away.

"I'll be back." I say, leaving for the restroom. After peeing and washing my hands, I stare at myself in the mirror. I am never aging, aren't I? Just like Decker's classmates say. I return to the table to find only Nikki's dessert there. "Mine still isn't here?" I pout. Nikki laughs. "Say 'ah', gorgeous." He says, scooping up some of his pie and feeding me some. "Thank you." I say, wiping away anything around my mouth. "Anything for you. You know, what I said to Lola was true. What I said to the fans was true. I did quit shooting up and getting fucked up because of you. You were my inspiration to write the songs. You're my inspiration to get up in the morning because I know I get the pleasure of seeing you right beside me, whether your eyes be closed or not. I know you'll be the first the I see in the morning and the last I see at night. That's what I love of my day, seeing you and our kids. I love getting to know that if one day I'm gone, you'll be there to take our care of my kids. I still remember the night we met. I remember seeing you walk in, your black hair poofed up and your brown eyes shining. Your leather skirt high up on your beautiful long legs and your leather jacket shining from the rain and lights of the club. I remember you coming up to us and talking to is about how good we were. Then, you left. I thought I'd never see you again. I didn't think i could take that. But, I was wrong. I saw you again. I saw you and all your beauty." Nikki says, grabbing my hands over the table. The waiter sets my dessert, chocolate cake, down in front of me. "Thanks." I say, quickly. "I couldn't imagine myself without you now, Abigail. I wrote so many songs about you. Without You and Glitter and Rocketship. Those were about you. I was hoping you'd see that on your own. You never did. Those were the sweet songs...Sticky Sweet and Slice of Your Pie aren't so sweet. I've written so many songs, Abby. They're all for you. Because I'm in love with you. I am in so deeply in love with you." He says, whispering the last part then leans over the table to kiss me on the forehead. "I love you, Nikki." I say, not realizing I'm crying until he's wiping away the tears. "Eat, gorgeous, so we can get going." He says, smiling. I nod and start eating.

Getting midway through my cake, I notice something. "Uh, Nikki, this isn't supposed to be shiny." I say, picking around at the cake. I cut the fancy shit and pull out the shiny stuff with my fingers. "Oh my fucking god. Nikki Sixx, what is this?!" I exclaim.