When the Past Returns

Exchanging Vows

February 2013

Everyone was so beautiful. All of my kids were dressed up so nicely. The girls were in these nice dresses while my boys were in their nice tuxes. There was no sign of Derrick or Juniper. "Abby, are you dressed? It's time." Kyle says at my dressing room door. This was my wedding. "I'm ready." I say, opening the door. I was shaking with nervousness. I was about to marry Nikki after all these years. Kyle walked with me. "How's Jason?" I ask, hoping I'd remembered the right name. "He's good. Haley wants another one. She wants a girl. The twins love him a lot." He says, smiling. "That's good, that's good. Do you want another one?" I say, looking at the roses in my hands. Nikki knows how to plan the wedding so well. "I do, but I'm so busy with work. It isn't the right time. She quit her job after Jason was born and never went to apply again. He's 3 years old. We can put him in daycare if we need to. I'm working two jobs with no help, we're close to losing our house, the twins have so many school trips to go to. It's a lot of stress. Nikki paid for our tickets to come here. If Haley hadn't said anything to him, we wouldn't be here." Kyle says, getting worked up. "Oh, god, Kyle, I'm sorry. I'll talk to Hal. Don't you worry. I've got this." I say, patting his back.

By the time we finished talking, we had gotten to the steps of the wedding aisle where everyone was seated. "Oh my god." I mumble. My eyes were wide and filled with tears. "Don't ruin your makeup." Kyle whispers, wrapping his arm in mine. I laugh, lightly and walk up the three steps leading up to my soon-to-be husband. I met eyes with my all my kids, except for Juniper, and smiled at them. I met eyes with my little brother and sister. Then, I finally met eyes with my fiancée. He had the biggest smile on his face and he wiped away tears. We were already to him. "Who gives away this woman to this man?" The man asks. "I do, her brother-in-law." Kyle says, letting me go. I hold Nikki's hands that are equally as sweaty as mine and laugh. "You look gorgeous. I never thought it was possible for you to look any more beautiful than what you already do, but you've done it." He says, kissing the tops of my hands.

" The step which you are about to take is the most important into which human beings can come. It is a union of two people founded upon mutual respect and affection. Your lives will change, your responsibilities will increase, but your joy will be multiplied if you are sincere and earnest with your pledge to one another.

Nikki, will you have this woman to be your wedded wife, to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, and forsaking all others, keep you only unto her, for so long as you both shall live?" The man asks, looking up at Nikki to see him shaking.

"I do." Nikki says, smiling.

"Abigail, will you have this man to be your wedded husband, to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, and forsaking all others, keep you only unto him, so long as you both shall live?" He asks me.

"I do." I say, smiling.

"Take hands and repeat after me: I, Nikki, take you, Abigail, to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, to love and to cherish, from this day forward." Nikki repeats after him.

"I, Abigail, take you, Nikki, to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, to love and to cherish, from this day forward." And I repeat after him.

"Do you have a ring for the bride? Please place the ring on the bride's finger and say: With this ring, I thee wed." Nikki searches his pockets in a panic and I giggle. "Hanley, go." I hear Gunner whisper. "Here, Dad. You're missing these." Hanley says, laughing. Everybody else laughs, too. Nikki breathes, hugs Hanley, and says, "Thanks, kiddo. We'll bake some cookies when we get home." He takes the band that belongs on my finger and says, "With this ring, I thee wed."

"Is there a ring for the groom? Please place the ring on the groom's finger and say: With this ring I thee wed." I take the ring for Nikki and slid it on his finger, repeating the words.

"Let these rings be given and received as a token of your affection, sincerity and fidelity to one another.

In as much as Nikki and Abigail have consented together in wedlock and have witnessed the same before this company, and pledged their vows to each other, by the authority vested in me by the State of California, I now pronounce you husband and wife." The man says. With that, Nikki has his arms wrapped around me and his lips on mine. "I love you, Mrs. Sixx." He says, balancing me. "I love you, Mr. Sixx." I say, giving him one last kiss before we run to the courtyard.

With everybody in the courtyard with us, we have pictures taken. I can feel my heart swelling up with joy. We were finally married! "Let's go party, guys!" Kyle yells. "Has he had anything to drink?" I ask. "Probably." Haley rolls her eyes and leads him to the cars with her kids following. "Let's get in the limo. Come on, kids." I say. "What about our cars?" Gunner asks. "We'll come get them. Don't worry." Nikki says. We get in and are driven to the reception hall. This was one of my best days ever.

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I had changed from my wedding dress to a sundress. Music was playing and food was being thrown around. "Jesus, who in the hell is throwing food?" I ask. "The kids. Nobody's listening." Nikki says, walking up from behind me and wrapping his arms around me, resting his chin on my shoulder. There were so many words I had to say, but I was still too happy. "Okay, where's the newlyweds? I have a present for them and the band." Someone asks. We find our way over to where the person is and sit in a chair. "Okay, I made this from things I've found that was shared with me. Privileged is what I am." Rain, Vince's girlfriend, says. She starts a video and Rodeo starts to play. This video has different clips of our lives together, mostly mine and Nikki's, put into this 4 minute long segment. It contained clips of bringing the babies backstage, tour bus memories, the times when the guys were alone and what they'd say or how they'd act, a lot of the time I was in the video either messing around with the guys and kids or taking care of them. Then it ended with mine and Nikki's first kiss as a married couple. She must've finished up on her way here, but either way that was beautiful. Everyone was crying. "God, Rain, that was wonderful. Thank you." I say, hugging her. "Yeah, it's great to see only my mother's decent times." Juniper says, finally arriving. "June! Where have you been?" I ask, running up to her. Her eyes were bloodshot and her breath smelt like alcohol.

"Like you really care. You never care about anyone, but yourself. That's why you did all those things. You want attention all the time. That's why you left California all the time when we were little. You thought Nikki would have feelings for you. I've read your diary, Mom. I know what you went through. I know you were a drug addict. I know you were an alcoholic. I know you slept with all these men. I wouldn't doubt if I wasn't Nikki's kid at all. Hell, Ashtyn might not be his either. I want to go on Maury. I've set it up. We're going on Maury and seeing if all of these kids are Nikki's." Juniper says. "Are you crazy? I know who I slept with. You're Nikki's, Ash is Nikki's, Teagon is Nikki's, and Cameron and Hanley are Nikki's, too!" I say. "Cameron's dead because of you. If you weren't such a lazy mom, he wouldn't be dead." June says. "Juniper, you need to apologize. Your mother isn't lazy. Has she ever left you? Has she ever made you feel abandoned? What is the worst thing she has ever done to you?" Nikki says. He was holding onto me, tightly, and his voice had power in it. "She left me to go on a date with Jacob!" She yells. "That was fucking once! You were with me and your brother! You had your older brother who was and is your best friend!" Nikki shouts.

"She was my best friend. If she's going to accuse my mother of doing things she never did, I want nothing to do with her." Gunner says, pulling me away from Nikki and to and a bathroom.