If I survive you survive

Chapter 19: Slughorn's Memory

Harry was thinking about the memory he needed to get to get from Slughorn constantly. He figured that just outright asking Slughorn wasn't an option as surely Dumbledore wouldn't have needed him for that. How else was he supposed to get it though?

"Slughorn loves you mate. I think you should just ask" Ron's insight wasn't overly helpful.

"There must be something specific you need to do that only you can do" Hermione told him.

"I know but I just can't think what" Harry was getting really frustrated.

He was finding the more irritated he got the more he wanted to spent time with Tom. He would lie in his bed at night and think of Tom using that whip or whatever it was over and over. The bruises were long gone, the memory of the pain eroded. He briefly thought of trying to bruise, mark or cut his own skin and then felt a wave of shame run through him.

Harry decided he would just try and ask Slughorn for the memory. He had been thinking about it for too long and he just wanted to be put out of his misery. He made a decision the following Monday to ask Slughorn no matter what. His heart sank when they were all given an individual poison and were tasked to make an antidote.

"I don't think the Half-Blood Prince will be able to help you with this one," Hermione said smugly.

"Fuck," he whispered under his breath. He felt like he had re-read the text in his book a million times and nothing was standing out to help him. Until with five minutes to spare he saw in the corner of one of the pages cramped writing just shove a bezoar down their throats. Harry raced into the potion ingredients cupboard and found two bezoars in one of the drawers. He grabbed one and waited nervously for Slughorn to work his way round to him.

"The nerve!" Slughorn laughed "You are of course quite right Harry. In fact, a bezoar would be an effective cure to all these poisons."

To say that Hermione was furious would have been an understatement. She stalked out of the classroom completely ignoring him. Harry hung back until everyone had left.

"Um, Professor?"

"Yes, my boy?" it felt strange thinking he was going to ask for something that Dumbledore hadn't managed to get.

"I was wondering," he took a deep breath "I was wondering if you could tell me anything about horcruxes?" Slughorn's face immediately darkened.

"Dumbledore put you up to this didn't he?" Harry didn't answer "get out, I have nothing to say about this. Go on out." He spoke with such authority Harry quickly removed himself from the dungeons.

"Well, I told you just asking for it wouldn't work" was Hermione's less than useful input.

Slughorn was now leaving straight after the sixth year's potions classes. Harry wasn't sure how he was going to get the chance to ask again, and he was getting really frustrated.

Harry felt like he was stuck in a time loop. It was like he was existing in the same day over and over again. Time was going so slowly he felt like he was going steadily crazy and then suddenly it was February. He didn't know how he had got there. He spent his evenings mostly with Hermione in the library to avoid seeing Ron and Lavender kissing in the common room. Although he loved Hermione dearly it was very dull compared to hanging out with Ron and it was dangerous when he was bored because his mind drifted to Tom and then he'd feel that pain deep inside his chest.

"Are you going into Hogsmeade at the weekend?" Harry whispered to Hermione.

"I don't really want to be around a bunch of couples. Valentine's day in Hogsmeade doesn't sound like much fun to me."