𝐜𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡 || 𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐚 𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐨 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

CHAPTER 114 - yoghurt

a/n - please vote!!

i watch y/n's eyes as they fall down to the bed. "um... i've noticed that you haven't really been eating lately," i say. "i have," y/n says. "my love, you haven't," i say, "please don't argue with me right now." i feel y/n's hands starting to shake, and she pulls them away, standing up from the bed.

i watch her walk to the wardrobe, and she comes out in her suit. "i'll... be back," she says. i let her go, watching as she drops off the balcony. i sigh, running my hands through my hair.

one week later , 8:31pm
i've brought it up about two more times, but every time y/n brushes it away, makes an excuse or goes somewhere. i've also noticed she's lost weight when she lays on me.

"hey," i smile as y/n walks into the house. "hi," y/n responds. i hug her tight, closing my eyes, "can we please talk?" y/n doesn't respond and i pull away, looking at her. "i was actually gonna go patrolling," she says, walking past me. i follow her upstairs, not backing down this time.

y/n's pov
my heart pounds as i feel olivia pick me up, starting to walk to the bed. "olivia, can you stop? please?" i breathe out quickly, tapping her shoulders. olivia puts me down quickly, and i walk and sit on the bed, fearing that she thought i was too heavy.

i avoid eye contact as i fist my hand and place it over my mouth, staring at the bed as olivia sits next to me. "i'm sorry," olivia says. i don't respond, feeling my chest tighten up. i take my hands off my mouth, playing with the rings. 

olivia stays silent as i calm down, needing around six minutes. "what's wrong, dimples?" olivia asks, "i'm here, you know." "i know," i whisper, getting teary-eyes. i wipe them away, leaning my head back on the headboard. "do you wanna hold my hand?" she asks quietly.

i look at olivia's hand, taking it in both of mine. i rub my hands against hers, taking a deep breath, "i'm so sorry. i've wasted so much money." "hey, no. y/n, don't say that," olivia says, "money doesn't matter... just, talk to me. what's going on?" "you won't understand," i whisper. "then help me understand," she says, "we don't keep things to ourselves here, my love." "i don't know where to start... or how," i say. "whenever you're ready. take the whole night if you need to," olivia says, "i'm right here."

i take a few more minutes, finally getting the courage to talk. "i don't know what's wrong with me, olivia," i whisper. "nothing's wrong with you," olivia says, "you're perfect." "no, don't say that. please don't," i shake my head, "i... i know i haven't been eating a lot. you're right, and i'm sorry." "it's okay," olivia says. "it's not," i say, "it's not okay. i know it's not okay, but i just feel this stupid, stupid urge to lose weight." "do you know why?" olivia asks. "i saw a comment on my instagram a few months ago. they mentioned that i've gained some weight, not even in the way where they were meant to be offending me. i think that's what got to me," i say, "and i just... have really noticed it once they said that." "i didn't notice," olivia says. "but i did," i say, "and it was really, really annoying me. every time i tried to eat, there was this voice in the back of my head telling me that i needed to lose weight... and i'm sorry i've been hiding it and avoiding it, i just- it's... embarrassing." i look at olivia, seeing her furrowed eyebrows. "it's not embarrassing," olivia whispers. "forcing yourself to vomit isn't normal, either," i scoff sadly. "y/n," olivia breathes out.

i look away from her, holding her hand tighter. "i just... really need to get better now... and it's really hard to, and i don't know how," i say, "i'm sorry. i've tried eating full meals, but i just always end up vomiting it every single time." "we can work on it, my love," olivia says. "please don't think of me differently," i say. "i don't," olivia says, "i still love you. so fucking much." "thank you," i whisper. olivia uses her other hand to wipe my tears, wiping a little of her own too.

"do you... wanna try eating tonight?" olivia asks. i shake my head, "not tonight." "that's okay," olivia says, "breakfast?" "maybe," i answer. "i'm gonna get you water, okay?" olivia says.

olivia's pov
i wipe more of my tears away as i walk downstairs, using my sleeves. i get a glass of water, splashing my face with water and drying it before i walk upstairs.

"thank you," y/n whispers, taking it. i sit on the edge of the bed, "y/n?" she looks at me, before placing the empty cup on the bedside table. "thank you so much for telling me. i know it was hard, but thank you. i really appreciate it," i smile. y/n smiles faintly too, leaning forward and hugging me. i close my eyes, hugging her back and placing a kiss on her cheek.

i sit beside y/n as she looks at the yoghurt. "just... eat what you can. you don't have to eat all of it," i say. "okay," y/n whispers, picking up the spoon. she scoops half a spoon, and i watch her. she looks at me, before looking at the spoon, then back at me. "um, can you not look, please?" she asks. "oh! yeah, i'm so sorry," i say, taking out my phone. "no," y/n chuckles softly, "it's okay." "sorry," i whisper, unlocking it and going onto tiktok.

i glance at y/n, seeing her watching my phone as she eats slowly. it's been half an hour, and she was half way done the bowl. "you're doing good," i smile proudly. "thank you," y/n says, "sorry... it's just taking kinda long." "no, don't be sorry," i say, "you're okay." "i think that watching something while i eat helps," y/n says, "so i don't, like, overthink and stuff." "perfect," i move my chair closer to y/n, "you can watch tiktok with me." "hey, liv?" y/n says. "yeah?" "can you... not tell anyone about this? i know you probably won't, but-" "yeah, of course, y/n. i was never going to," i say, "it's not my place." "thank you," y/n smiles.

another half an hour goes by of y/n eating as we watch tiktok on my phone. i look at her bowl, seeing only a little bit eaten from last time. "i think i'm done," y/n says, giving me a small frown. "hey, you did good," i smile, "baby steps, my love. they didn't build rome in a day." y/n smiles, looking down and shaking her head. i place the remaining yoghurt in the fridge as y/n drinks water.

we walk upstairs, and i follow y/n into the bathroom. i see her look at the scale, walking towards it. i take her hand, pulling her back. she spins towards me, and i shake my head. "you don't need to know, y/n," i whisper. "but... just one more time. to see my progress," y/n says. "promise it's just that?" i ask. "promise," y/n says. 

i watch as she goes to step on, but she looks at me. "fuck, sorry," i say, turning around. "it's okay," y/n says, and i hear her step on.

"okay," y/n breathes out, and i turn back around after she steps off. "you okay?" i ask. "yeah," she miles, "well... yeah. i'm doing okay." "one to ten? ten being the happiest," i say. "um, like, a three," y/n answers. "that's okay," i say, wrapping my arms around her neck and kissing her, "i'm here for you.

thanksgiving
y/n and i sit next to eat other at the dinner table, and y/n stares at her plate that had turkey, mashed potatos and vegetables on it. i furrow my eyebrows at the look of slight worry- the one others wouldn't see if they didn't know y/n's situation.

i lean over to y/n, placing my hand to cover my mouth as i whisper, "just eat what you can." before i pull away, i place a kiss on y/n's cheek. y/n looks at me with a small smile, nodding.

about fifteen minutes later, i look at y/n's plate. it was still the same, just with around half of the mashed potato left. "do you want any more?" i whisper quietly. y/n looks at me, slightly shaking her head as she picks up her water. 

i scan the dinner table, seeing everyone distracted in the conversation. i quickly swap my empty plate with y/n's, and y/n looks at me, whispering, "thank you."

i finish y/n's food, and we pack up. y/n brings plates to the kitchen, and mom looks at me. "i noticed y/n didn't eat most of her food," mom says, "was it not good this year?" "no, it was great," i say, "she just... had dinner before." i hated lying to my mom, but i had to. "oh," mom says, "who has dinner before a thanksgiving dinner?" mom chuckles, and i let out a relieved one. "yeah, i know," i smile.