Warrior Cats One-Shots [COMPLETE]

Choosing to Stay ≫ Leafpool x Suicidal! Male! Reader

Art: cloudtail

⚠️ Warnings ⚠️
• Depressed reader
• Attempted suicide
• Intense scene

A/N: This one-shot contains some pretty heavy material. If you think it might upset you or harm you emotionally in any way, please don't read it. I won't take it personally.

****

You couldn't sleep. Ever since the sound of thousands of crickets singing the night away was replaced by the striking silence of leaf-fall, slumber was much harder to come by. Or maybe, it was just your cripplingly decaying emotional state.

Finally surrendering to the waking world's cold grasp, you raised your head and gazed at the entrance to the warriors' den. Rain was falling from above, gently pattering the ground in barely noticeable droplets. You heaved a quiet sigh, sitting up in your nest. What's the point of trying? You thought bitterly, casting an envious glance at your soundly sleeping denmates. I'm never going to get to sleep now.

With the caution of a grazing rabbit, you rose to your paws, wincing as the soreness in your limbs became apparent. The pain had been getting worse for some time, and although Leafpool had been giving you poppy seeds, ragwort, daisy leaves, and every other herb known to ease discomfort, it hadn't let up. She often encouraged you and told you to be strong, but she didn't know the full extent of the pain you were suffering from—none of your clanmates did.

You made your silent escape, carefully stepping over Brackenfur and weaving past Dustpelt before finally slipping around Cloudtail and Brightheart and emerging into the deserted clearing.

"(Y/N)?" A gentle voice called to you. You turned your head, meeting a familiar pair of amber eyes. They shimmered in the light of the early morning, reflecting a certain kindness you weren't used to seeing.

"Hey, Leafpool," You meowed, offering her an empty smile. "How goes it?"

The brown-and-white tabby she-cat twitched her whiskers, a purr rumbling in her chest. "I'm well. Thank you, (Y/N)." She replied, flashing you yet another kind smile. That smile faltered, however, as soon as she took a closer look at you.

You sighed, forcing a dry chuckle. "I know; I look like something a fox threw up." You were well-aware of the condition your pelt was in; you hadn't bothered to groom yourself properly for a day or two, and your fur was beginning to clump in places.

"How are you holding up?" Leafpool murmured, tilting her head in concern. "I'm not asking about your joint pain."

You blinked, a bit taken aback. You hadn't told any cat about your deteriorating mental health; Did Leafpool know more than she was letting on? The thought made your heart skip a beat, and you had to swallow a thick lump of anxiety that had settled in your throat.

"Um... Yeah! I'm doing great!" You replied as enthusiastically as you could in the form of a bold-faced lie. "Why wouldn't I be?" She can't see me hurting! It will only burden her...

The young medicine cat held your gaze, concern shimmering in her amber eyes. "(Y/N), I'm your friend," She meowed gently. "You can always tell me if something's bothering you..." She sounded rather sad, and her tone held a tiny hint of desperation.