WITH YOU!

36. LOST HIM & LOST ME!

AISHA

I suddenly saw him, as I was singing the song. He was smiling, shining in that dim light. I felt like I was dreaming, I was hallucinating him, as I continued to sing feeling him, seeing him. I felt like I was confessing my feelings for him, to him. It was like my heart took the best control of me, & my brain went numb.

Then the song ended & I saw him actually there. Shit! He saw it all, he read it all, the smile on his face says he read my feelings! How can I deny when he knows it all? Should I give him a chance? Should I risk my heart as Vidhi says?

I was thinking when I saw him with Tia, of course she was not going from this wedding even after that insult, one imprudent bitch that she is, but Vivaan! How could he touch her with the hands he touched me with! How could he look at her the eyes he hold me in?

'So what did you expect from him, to kneel down in front of you? He is the great Vivaan Khurana babes, not just normal guy who would run after you holding your dupatta!' my wise subconscious rudely scolded the great in expecting things, me, & I knew it all already.

But what to do with this heart of mine, which has started beating for him, my breaths which want to be filled with his & only his scent, my eyes that search for him in every face. What do I do with myself?

"I need to behave before it's too late!" I murmured to myself.

'It's already too late!' spoke my subconscious, & I felt my eyes tearing with the shattered pieces of my heart, when he pulled her closer.

He looked at me, & I went to my friends, who left me for dance. I thought he too might have joined in with Tia, & I shouldn't worry about it, in fact I should be happy he found someone perfect for him, a bitch for a bastard!

This is when I saw a hand, & looked at a very handsome man asking my hand for dance.

'The hand he was holding Tia's hand with a few minutes back!' reminded my subconscious, & I moved away from there, but he forced me on the dance floor.

& as much as I hate to admit it, but he melted my anger yet again! He is a bad news, noted, again! I looked at him, with the song 'dekha hazaro dafa aapko' (Seen you a thousand times...) playing in the background, & his eyes held honesty, admiration, & sincerity.

I was lost in those black orbs glittering with content, of what, I don't know, but he felt at peace, for the first time since I've ever seen him. He looked like a calm river against the tsunami hit sea, like always.

I eyed him. He looked disastrously dashing in that white tuxedo, with white shirt underneath, with black buttons. He wore a black bow-tie, & a red pocket square. His hairs set up in perfection as always. & suddenly he asked the question I didn't want him to ask me ever. I was trying to forget the thing he reminded me!

Trust me, I was at peace a moment back, under his hold, it looked perfect, but his one question shook me like an earthquake of magnitude ten, which isn't possible in geography, but in my emotional world, it is never below magnitude ten!

The song ended, & I rushed away from his question, from the truth, but he held my wrist, & with quick strides, which I found difficult to match in these heels, he took me out, by the pool, far away from this commotion, to those bitter memories & the questions, which I always run away from.

I was tearing by now! I was too lost in the thoughts to know when did we reach here! He left my wrist with a jerk, & I stood there, looking in the pool, as those bitter memories rushed back in my memory. My screams, his laughs, my tears, his smirks. Ah! I'll go crazy!