WITH YOU!

21. VULNERABILITIES!

AISHA

God this guy will make my mind blast if I even stay a moment more with him. His close intensity makes me feel I never thought I'd ever feel. He scares the shit out of me, & at the same time pulls me towards him!

I keep on denying any feelings for him, but how can I deny him seeing his effect on me.

No matter how much I deny, today I've realized that I feel something for him. Yes I can't reject it, after I felt disappointed when he leaned back, like I wanted him, more-&-more, like I crave him, more-&-more, like he is infecting me, moment-by-moment, & the worst case is, I can't fight him, I'm liking getting infected by him. It's like even my white blood cells are dancing on his beats!

My little left reasonable self is screaming for help, but I'm drunk, drunk on him, I'm drowning, drowning in these feelings for him, I'm mesmerized, mesmerized by those shiny black diamonds, I'm addicted, addicted to his more of a drug than a perfume, I'm lost, completely, lost in him, & I want, want his touches, his intimacy, his attention...

I too have feelings, but I don't know what are these, just like him, I know just one thing, I crave for him.

It's like we are on the same boat of 'confusion', in the ocean of 'feelings', but both on the other ends. Cause he is accepting his confused & mixed feelings openly, with his eyes & his moves, but I will never accept it, I dare not accept it, at least in front of him or others. Cause I know he is a BAD NEWS.

After what he said to me that day on the call, I can never give myself to him. I can't compromise when it comes to a relationship of hearts. It must be based on love, respect & mutual trust, not on compromises, ego & mere desires.

I don't know what to do, else than to run away. Run away from those touches that shivers my existence, run away from him, who makes me want him, every moment, a bit more. With him I feel like I'll loose it all, all my senses, all my control. He has the authority to make me come on my knees just by looking at me, & I hate him having this much effect on me! God, I'm going nuts! I'm drowning, & nobody can save me! I just need to run. I better stay away from him.

With these thoughts, as I was running away from his study, as soon, & as fast as possible, a nervous Vidhi collided with me, & asked me what took me this long, & if he agreed. I skipped the first question, cause I know, I'm worst at lying, so chose the safer side, & answered in affirmative for the second question, & she squealed in joy, hugging me, & saying,

"Oh God Aish, you know, you should be a politician, or a lawyer, cause you convinced him, the great Vivaan Khurana, for something he might never have said yes! You know what, I love you!" she engulfed me in a tight hug again, only if she knew he agreed because he was convinced of her safety, & not because of me! Indeed that bastard of her brother played with me, & teased me all the time using her as an excuse. But I now just wanted to run away, to not face him ever again. He does things to me, I've no idea of!

"Let's go Miss. Mathur, I'll see you off!" said the richest, deepest, proudest, & the sexiest voice I've heard in my life, & I flinched visibly, which was observed by Vidhi.

"You okay?" asked she.

I just gulped, nodding my head with a fake smile.

"Just tired..." said I, lying. Hope she buys it.

"Let's go!" spoke Vivaan, & Vidhi looked at him, more like stared.

"Goodbye Aisha, & thank you so much, will meet you soon!" said an over-excited Vidhi, & I just smiled & waved my hand.